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gouraminnow · 5 months ago

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Galley on 4th

Pt. 2 (Modern AU- Yandere Thatch x gender neutral reader)

Part 1 | Ao3

Raising your kid sister all by yourself is hard enough on it's own. But add classes, poverty, and several jobs to juggle and the pressure builds awfully fast. Most employers will drop you on a whim and it's all you can do to stay afloat… So when you somehow manage to land a well-paying position at The Galley on 4th Avenue, a famous, high-end place run by some well renowned Chef- You're desperate to hold things down. Good thing your new Boss is so friendly and understanding, huh?

Warnings: Not much for this chapter. General themes of poverty, hints of yandere sketchiness

Kind of a filler chapter! Mostly setting up Reader and Grub's relationship + background characters. Wish there were more named WBP members outside of the commanders, I'd make the restaurant staff canon 4th division characters if I could. Ah well, I still like my ocs lol. There WILL be more reader/Thatch interaction in the NEXT chapter! Happy Holidays to those who celebrate!

Despite the hell of a day you’d had, it turned out to be… a pretty good night, somehow. Thatch didn’t even stay that long- not that you could blame him. If he thought the way he’d been skulking around your kitchen was slick he had another thing coming. And while it was nice he hadn’t said anything rude, you still didn’t appreciate the… looking. You just didn’t want to cause a scene in front of Grub. Or at all, really, if it means this goes away… you think, watching the kid pile her plate high with a gap-toothed grin. Your boss had left pretty soon after Grub’s attention was stolen by the food, but not before leaving you his phone number and insisting you let him know if you needed help with anything. You had nodded dumbly, stumbling through another quiet thank-you before he escorted himself out.

And that was it.

You stood quietly in front of the closed door for a moment, the rustling of Grub rifling through bags seeming much farther than it really was. “EARWIG!” She shouts, waving at you from the table. “Come on, come EAT! It’s GOOD!”

“Don’t call me that,” you sigh, words falling from your lips as you turn to trudge back to the table. “... But you’re right, I should eat.” She grins, shoving a white box of buttered rolls towards you- the pull-apart kind.

“Look look look! There’s so many of them! I didn’t know they came attached!” She exclaims excitedly. You smile, reaching across the table to ruffle her hair.

“Yep. Crazy world we live in, huh kiddo? Pace yourself, yeah? I’m excited too, but don’t make yourself sick sweetheart.” She sticks her tongue out, scooping some potatoes onto her plate. “Hey, you put that back!” You playfully scold, pointing to her mouth and she giggles. “I’m serious though, eat slowly. You wouldn’t want to throw up the good stuff, would you?”

She looks at you thoughtfully for a moment, eyes narrowing- then she sighs, and flops against the back of the chair with a sullen expression. “Ugh. I guess not…” Your eyes soften. “Hey, kid, I’m not saying you can’t eat, just that you have to do it slowly, okay? Don’t sulk, now.”

Grub slowly sits up, resting her knobby elbows on the kitchen table. Her wide eyes regard you sternly from behind her bangs- you should probably trim those, soon. “Does this…” she starts, before looking around and lowering her voice almost conspiratorially. “Does this mean we can have seconds tonight..?”

You scoff, but inside your chest you feel your heart clench. It was… normal to try and ration things for a couple days. Whether it was takeout, or you managed to buy some decent pasta the kid didn’t hate the texture of and made a big pot of something with it… it was expected that the both of you would only have one serving of each. You had been thinking of doing the same thing here, honestly- just acting on autopilot until she had asked. But… neither of you really had access to a spread like this since… since your old family dinners.

Since long before you took Grub, and ran.

You relax the muscles you hadn’t realized you had been tensing, and smile warmly at your baby sister. “Of course we can, kiddo. Actually- do you want to put on a movie, too? It’s the weekend, after all.”

And the grin she gives you isn’t one you’d trade for the world.

She’s very energetic in the morning, you quickly learn- when you’re torn from dreamland by her little hands violently shaking your shoulders. “EARWIG! BREAKFAST TIME! BREAKFAST!” She yells while you try to figure out where the hell you are. Is this a rollercoaster? Car crash, maybe?

“K-kid- jesus, I’m awake, I’m awake! Yes! Breakfast! Very exciting!” You stammer, forgetting your wrist when you try to grab at her. That familiar jolt of pain shoots up your arm, and that seems to do the trick because Grub finally stops.

“Oh, um… Sorry, I forgot…” She mumbles as you lie dazed in your own bed. Well… shared bed. You technically had a twin sized mattress for the Grub, but she always seemed to find her way into your bed. You’d wake up with her curled up in front of you, little hands clutching at whatever nightshirt you were wearing, and eventually you stopped trying to dissuade her. The twin bed was just another storage space now, extra sheets and blankets kept underneath and all her plushies carefully arranged on top. You raise your good hand, giving the kid a thumbs-up.

“S’fine, I forgot too,” you confess, strained voice still heavy with sleep. Your hand drops to rub at your eyes, then the bridge of your nose while you try to blink the blurriness away. “Ugh. What time is it, kid?” you ask, rolling onto your side. She had turned the lights on and the curtains were drawn, so you couldn’t be sure. It certainly felt early, though. You knew she typically got up before you, allowing you to slip in and out of sleep for a couple more hours.

Your vision comes into focus in time to see Grub bashfully pull away, arms folded behind her back. She’s wearing the oversized tie-dye shirt the two of you made a few months back, when she was home sick for some sort of classroom art activity. “It’s seven…” She mumbles. “B-but I was excited for breakfast, a-and I didn’t wanna eat without you! I already waited a whole half-hour!”

You stare at her for a moment. That’s… sweet, even if you still want to sleep… you sigh, folding your arm over your face. “Alright, kiddo. I’ll be up in a bit, okay? We’ll try one of the soups, I’ll heat it up on the stove…” You punctuate your words with a yawn. “Then I’m gonna take a nap. Okay?”

“Okay!” She cheers, the volume rattling your brain inside your skull. Ugh. Guess it’s time to get up now… you toss the old blankets aside, stretch until your back cracks, and then swing your legs over the edge of the bed, settling your feet against the itchy gray carpet. You’d been meaning to get some sort of mat to set down by the bed, something softer and less… grimy, but it was hardly a priority. You trudge your way into the bathroom. Grub has long since left you in the dust, and you can hear whatever cartoons she’s put on in the living room. You amble your way down the hall, to the doorways at the end- one leading into the kitchen, and the one on the other side leading into the bathroom. The yellowed tiles are cracked, and the buzzing of the flickering light irritates you, but luckily brushing your teeth doesn’t take all that long. Grub loudly sings along to some gratingly cheerful theme song in the other room. You finish brushing, and then go to re-wrap your wrist. Delicately peeling the fabric away, you wince. Dark purple marks gather around your wrist, fading into other shades as the blooms of discoloration spreads from either side. You flex your fingers, as a test- paying close attention to the twinges it causes. You had been… ignoring those, when you had other things to do, but now you were face to face with the fact that this was a lot worse than what you had thought.

Well, alright. This shouldn’t be a problem, you can manage! You have two days before you have to go anywhere. Two days you don’t have to work. You opt to keep it unwrapped, for now- bracing an icepack between your arm and your chest while you warm up the food should work, and you only need one hand to eat.

So that’s how it goes, injured arm awkwardly folded against your chest while you reheat Millie’s chowder on the stove, stirring slowly with an old wooden spoon, fingers catching on the spots where the wood grain fibers have been picked at. Some of the rolls are being reheated in the oven, so as to crisp them up rather than letting the microwave leave them… strange. Microwaved bread sucks. Somehow both chewier and soggier than it was initially. Horrible texture, just awful.

Grub is nice enough to fetch bowls and utensils without being asked, dragging around that old little step stool you’d found at a garage sale. She’s… surprisingly quiet today, aside from your abrupt awakening- no chatter as she sets the bowls onto the counter next to the stove, nor when she fetches the oven mit for you. “Thanks, button,” you coo, taking a brief break from stirring to rub her head. She hugs your waist, before hopping back. “This should be warm enough now, I think,” you mumble, raising the spoon to your lips to confirm your thoughts.

Oh wow. Millie knows what she’s doing, this stuff is good. You’ll be sure to tell her in person on Monday.

You ladle a portion into each bowl, telling Grub to be careful as she rushes to the table with hers. You smile, turning the burner off, and remove the rolls from the oven before turning that off, as well. Setting the pan onto the empty burners beside the pot of chowder, you take your own bowl to your spot at the table- across from the kid. “Bread has to cool a little bit, but help yourself once it does, kiddo.” Grub nods- already at least a third of the way through the bowl you’d given her. She still hasn’t said much, other than when she woke you up. Normally you have to remind her not to talk with her mouth full. You exhale slowly. “Hey Grub? Is… everything okay, sweetheart..?”

She pauses her chewing, eyes flitting between your worried face and her bowl of chowder. She gulps, wiping her mouth on the back of her hand. “Um… I just…” She starts, but trails off.

“Hey, it’s alright,” you assure her softly. “Do you want seconds, again? Is that it? We can, if you want.”

Her little brows knit together and she huffs, staring down at her soup. “... I want to eat like this more. D-do you think, um, Breadhead will do this again..?” You snort a laugh, shoving your uneasiness down.

You… don’t want to promise her anything. You’d like to eat like this more too, truthfully. “Well, Thatch is… pretty friendly. I didn’t expect him to do any of this, honestly…” Your turn to go quiet. “I guess, m-maybe I could, um…” The idea alone makes the words hard to get out, like sharp stones digging into your throat as you dredge them up. “... I-I think I could ask,” you offer her.

She smiles a little bit. “We have enough for the weekend, at least…” she says, and you can hear the squeaking of her chair as she swings her little legs. “Then you can get more on Monday, maybe…”

“I’ll see what I can do, kiddo. Might not bring back as much, but I’ll make sure you get something.”

She’s quiet for a moment, staring down at her chowder and swinging her legs. “Yeah, I know,” she eventually says.

The rest of breakfast is quiet, but not unpleasant. Grub has a second, smaller helping of soup and two bread rolls- that kid sure can put a lot away. Weekends are nice. You have an online class to attend on Saturdays, but for the rest of it- no responsibilities other than Grub. You always make sure to put some time aside for the kid, whether it’s an art project, cooking something together, going to the park… but it’s been cold and wet outside lately, so you opt to stay in. She’s gone over to Miss Howell’s apartment for a shower and some cocoa while you have class- your shower doesn’t work. You typically head over and borrow it as well, once your class is over.

Edith Howell was a sweet old woman who lived across the hall. She didn’t talk about herself much, but she was always willing to help you and for that- you were extremely grateful. It wasn’t just letting you use her amenities- she’s the one who picks up Grub when you work evenings. She has a dayjob at a kitschy little craft store, and often had something to give Grub. Your sister thought she was awesome, because anyone who would humor her mischievousness earned points in her book- plus she thought the surname of “Howell” made her sound like a werewolf. Edith humored the kid, even getting one of those classic but tacky three-wolf-moon shirts, which Grub thought was awesome.

Finishing up the lecture, you huff. Finally. You stand, and stretch- waiting for that familiar kink in your back to sort itself out. You weren’t… particularly passionate about medical care, but it does pay pretty well. But it’s endlessly frustrating how you struggle to afford the very same treatments you’re currently learning about. Your eyes flicker to your still-aching wrist. Getting a proper brace for it might be a good idea… maybe you could find something cheaper online?

… Maybe you’d look later.

You stand up from your rickety chair, stepping into your slippers, gathering a change of clothes and ambling into the living room, with the intention of embarking on the grand commute that was the door across the hall. With a warm set of pajamas tucked under your bad arm, you swing open the door with the good one and close it behind you.

Ugh.

The hall light is flickering again, and it always whines- a low buzzing that settles in the back of your head. It never fails to agitate Grub, who makes a competition of spending as little time in these yellow, moldering corridors as possible, the same way she races you to bed after flicking off the bedroom lights. You take the four steps it takes to cross the hall, cringing at the way your slippers stick to the floor slightly every time you lift your feet. You don’t knock, just opening the door and walking right in. Edith expects you on Saturdays, and you know her hips bother her. No reason to make her walk to the door when greeting each other once inside works just fine.

“Hi, Edith! Grub! I’m here!” you call out in the entryway. You hear the tv playing something, some shuffling, and then Grub is darting toward you. You hear Edith’s laughter from the living room as your sister’s little arms encircle you, your good hand automatically moving to ruffle the kid’s hair- “Kid, your hair’s still wet,” you comment, hand recoiling.

Grub looks up at you, pouting. “It’s fiiiine,” she whines. “I don’t like how the dryer sounds, an’ using a towel pulls my hair!”

You sigh, shaking your head. “You’re awfully sensitive,” you jab, but there’s only humor behind it. Grub sticks her tongue out at you, then sinks down- sitting firmly on top of your right foot while her limbs wrap tightly around your leg. You quirk a brow, head slowly tilting as you stare back down at her. “Oh, this is what we’re doing, hmm?” The kid grins, bursting into a fit of giggles as her fingers dig in. “Alright, here we go! HUP!” You lurch forward, dragging her along with you. She doesn’t get much air, but she’s having fun regardless.

“Hi, Miss Howl!” you greet, dragging a laughing Grub along with you as you slowly lurch your way into the living room. “Sorry, it’s gonna take me a bit, I seem to have some sort of growth,” you say, finally in view of the old woman sitting on her floral-patterned couch, old shelf of kitschy glass animal figures and craft projects standing a little ways behind her. She’s wearing a long, dark brown skirt, and that cheesy t-shirt she bought to humor your sister. Her apartment is a little nicer than yours, mostly in terms of furnishings- you’ve always been a little envious of her lacy curtains. But the conditions of the building itself still shine through. The linoleum kitchen floor is still warped and the wallpaper is peeling.

“What a shame,” she tuts, shaking her bespectacled head, the few gray, flyaway strands of hair that escaped her bun swaying. “I hear getting rid of those is rough.”

“Normally, that’s true,” you comment, looking down at your giggling sister. “Lucky for me, I’ve got an efficient, low-cost method of enucleation,” you say, grinning slyly at her. Before Grub realizes the game you’re playing, your free hand shoots down and you run your fingers up and down her sides, your tickling immediately earning you a thrashing Grub and peals of hysterical laughter. She flails, arms and legs unwrapping, and your good arm quickly loops around under her arms to keep her from falling backward. Can’t have her hitting her head. Or anything, preferably.

She straightens herself out with a huff, and you let go- standing back up and stepping away. You gesture vaguely at her. “See? Easy and free.”

“Cheater!” Grub pouts, but your host just laughs.

“I’ll have to remember that little trick,” she chuckles, adjusting her glasses. She moves to stand, and you instinctively move forward to help, but she raises a flattened hand in a silent gesture to stop. “Oh, don’t be like that, I can manage,” she huffs, taking a moment to stretch once she’s on her feet. “I’m hardly an invalid, yet,” she quips, flashing you a wry smile.

“Ah, sorry, I just-”

“None of that either! Come on now, hon.” She continues chastising. You feel your face growing warmer.

“Yeah, Earwig, none of that either!” Grub pipes up cheekily. You turn to where she still sits on the floor, arms crossed. There’s a second of eye contact- and then you drop to the floor as well, good hand shooting out to tickle the girl once again. She howls with laughter, and Edith simply shakes her head, shuffling past the old vintage piano and into the kitchen.

“I’m putting the kettle on!” she calls out. “You know where everything is, so feel free to shower whenever!”

The shower is just what you needed. The bathroom is still humid from Grub’s shower when you enter, and it always smells faintly of mildew in here, but at least Edith gets hot water. You take a couple moments to just stand under the hot spray, eyes closed and head tilted up as the heat sinks into your stressed body. You’re careful with your wrist, but the familiar sharp pangs still shoot up your arm. Your brows furrow. It’s… worse than you thought. You had broken both wrists before. Did it… mess things up again, maybe? You sigh, doing your best to brace yourself, before carefully trying to feel your injured left wrist with your good hand. Taking your right pointer and middle fingers, you try to gently press along your injured wrist but don’t get far- the pain it sends through you has you stifling a cry. Whimpering, you bite your lip. Fuck. You can deny it to Thatch, Edith, and Grub, but not to yourself. It’s worse than you thought. Not broken. At least you don’t think so, you’d at least know that if it was, wouldn’t you? Regardless, you really can’t do anything about it. With a sinking feeling in your gut, you opt to just wrap it again when you finish your shower. You sigh shakily, lowering your arms and closing your eyes, enjoying the hot water for just a little longer.

Your host greets you from the kitchen when you exit, your hair still damp and eyes half-lidded in the relaxed fatigue a nice shower leaves you with. She gives you your tea options, and you call out your preference as you amble towards Grub. She’s currently wrapped up in a blanket on Edith’s dusty pink floral couch, a generous mug of cocoa clasped between her little hands, and residue from the drink decorating her upper lip. Edith has some cartoons on for her- it’s vaguely familiar, a protagonist in white and blue up against some power-ranger-esque looking villains. You ruffle her hair as you pass, returning the raspberry she blows at you with a grin. “You’re due for a trim. You got a cocoa-stache, kiddo,” you tell her, chuckling when she immediately starts licking her lips.

You meet Edith in the kitchen. She’s got one of those quick, electric kettles- heats the water up fast. Something to consider after Grub’s winter boots, you think, taking the steaming mug Edith hands you. She pours her own, following you back out to the living room, both of you sitting yourselves down at a creaky little corner table. She sighs, leaning back in her equally creaky chair, and you busy yourself with your first sip of tea. Ooh. Too soon. Edith snorts at the way your face scrunches up when the hot water scalds your tongue. She doesn’t need to chide you, the look she shoots over the rims of her glasses is enough. You huff, flustered, but give a short nod.

You both sit there in comfortable silence for a couple minutes, save for the dramatics of the show Grub is watching. You jump, whipping around when the kid suddenly starts excitedly belting something out- ah. Next episode. You quickly settle, a small but warm smile spreading across your face as your sister sings along with the opening theme. You turn back to Edith, noting the twinkle in her eyes as she watches you. “She’s particularly happy tonight,” she notes. You nod.

“Probably the food…” you mumble with a lopsided smile, blowing on your tea and tentatively raising it to your lips.

“Mmm. Yes, I saw the take-out bags. That man is the charitable type, it seems.”

You hum, taking a sip. It’s hot, and irritates the burn on your tongue somewhat, but other than that it’s pleasant now. You lower the mug. “I… think he mostly just felt bad,” you say, eyes avoiding hers.

“Good. Take advantage of that, then, lord knows you could use the break,” she quips, voice laced with good humor. “He seemed fond of you…” She continues. “Could do a lot worse than a man like that, you know?”

Your face heats up. “I- w-what?! Miss Howell!” You hiss incredulously. You know she’s probably just teasing you, but you can’t help it.

She laughs. “Oh come now,” she chides. “He’s tall, he’s very well built-” You slap your good hand over your face with a whine. “-He can cook, and he’s clearly already willing to help you out, isn’t he?” “E-edith!” You stammer, cheeks and ears burning. Your voice is hushed as you glance over at a pre-occupied Grub, making sure she isn’t listening. You know she’d start making fun of you school-yard style for having a cruuuuush, and you could do without a nine-year-old’s witticisms. She might even say something if she saw him again, too. You shudder at the thought. “Come on, he’s my boss!” You continue, earning another snort from the woman before you.

“Good! Go and get yourself a raise, then! A little sugar never hurt anybody!” She shoots you a wink.

“Oh my god, E-EDITH!” Your exclamation and the elderly woman’s resulting cackle do succeed in drawing your sister’s attention away from her cartoons- you hear the telltale clack of her mug being set down on the coffee table, so you turn to face her direction again. You watch as she cranes her little neck, before opting to shuffle her body around and drape her arms over the back of the couch, hands dangling.

“What? What is it, what happened?” She asks, smiling brightly at you.

You do a frantic shooing motion with your good hand, and your host speaks up for you. “Don’t worry about it dear, I’m just giving earwig here a hard time, is all.”

You jolt as soon as you hear the silly nickname. You whip back around to her, hand flying to the spot over your heart, face twisted in a mask of betrayal. “Et tu, Miss Howell?” You theatrically exclaim, an exaggerated wobble added to your voice.

Weekends never last long enough. Saturday was lovely, the evening capped off by having Edith over for dinner- sharing the gumbo. She reiterated that Thatch was a good cook, and you quipped back that it was likely a subordinate chef who actually did it. But her words did ring true, unfortunately. He was good. You knew that much for sure. And while you were usually focused on other things, now that you take the time to really think about it, he… really isn’t all that bad looking, huh?

You go to bed a little confused that night, Grub none the wiser.

Sunday is nice, too. It’s the one day you don’t have work or class, so you spend it trying to dote on Grub. After breakfast, some cartoons and a short game of uno, you get her into some of her warmer clothes and walk hand-in-hand down to the bus stop for a relaxing day at the local library. Their kid’s section is nice, and Grub adores the comics. You have to tell her not to run and jump onto the bean bag chairs, but other than that she’s very good, curled up next to you with a pile of books. One of the titles catches your eye- that being Sora, Warrior of the Sea. It looks… just like that cartoon she was watching. Huh. Kid’s lucky- you remember wishing some of your childhood favorites were adapted to the big screen, but alas.

Things only went sour once you’d gotten back home, wrapped up cozy on the couch barely listening to the news on your grainy old tv while Grub draws. You’re reheating more of those leftovers when your phone rings, the sudden loud noise making you jump. The scuffed, cracked screen lights up, displaying the name of Grub’s school district, and you answer, holding it up to your ear with your left shoulder while stirring your chili with your right hand. And in that canned, robotic, tone you get a message that makes you want to start yelling. It’s a fucking Records Day tomorrow. No school for the kid.

You groan, taking a break from the food to put the phone down with your good hand. You look back to where she lays on the floor- the drawing paper laid over a heavy book since the carpet didn’t make for a flat surface. “Hey, kiddo,” you call out, watching as she finished scribbling something before raising her head in acknowledgement. “Did anybody tell you there’s no school tomorrow..?”

She blinks owlishly at you. “Nuh-uh,” she says, shaking her head. “I don’t remember any teachers saying that… Do I get to stay home tomorrow?” She asks, a little smile spreading across her face.

“That’s what I’ve gotta figure out, kiddo. Me and Miss Howell both have work tomorrow, and I’m not leaving you here alone.” She looks sad for a second, shoulders drooping, until she looks back up at you thoughtfully.

“... But I still don’t gotta go to school?”

“It’s not that you don’t have to. You actually can’t.” You tell her, getting a gap-toothed grin and a whooping cheer in response. You roll your eyes as if you aren’t smiling too.

… But it’s still an issue. You have a longer shift at The Galley tomorrow, starting during the afternoon and lasting until closing. You wouldn’t leave her alone in a normal home, let alone this nightmare of an apartment. Speaking of, you need to get some more diatomaceous earth soon- you saw a roach in the hallway. You sigh, hand on your forehead, biting your lip. Your eyes slide to Grub, happily drawing again. Your eyes move back to your phone.

Thatch did tell you to ask for favors. Insisted on it. But it makes you uneasy just thinking about it. You turn back to the chili, giving it a stir before turning the stove off. You stare into the deep, brown red soup for a moment, as if the beans and ground meat would provide you with a way out of it. But you really don’t have anyone who can watch the kid…

With another heavy sigh, you snatch up the phone and type out a quick text to your boss before you can talk yourself out of it.

Hello, sir. Sorry to bother you again so soon. I had another favor to ask, if it’s not too much trouble.

Ugh. Your stomach is in your throat. It’s a simple message, but you’re practically nauseous over it. You’re ladeling the chili into bowls when the phone rings again, Thatch’s name lighting up the screen this time.

Wow. That was quick.

You deposit Grub’s portion on the table and gesture her over, before leaving to take the call in your bedroom. You swipe right to answer, then hold the phone up. “H-hello?”

“Hey there sweetheart, everything alright?” You blink, brows furrowing. Sweetheart? You opt to ignore the way your cheeks heat up, shoving Edith's words from the previous day out of your head.

“Uh. Y-yeah, sorry if I was vague, it’s not, um, urgent. It’s just about tomorrow…”

Thatch sits down on the break room couch, crossing his legs, reclining with his free arm draped over the back. He’d been irritated to get a text while working, but his face lit up once he fished it out of his pocket and saw just who it was. He told Genkei it was you, and the man shot him dual-finger guns and took over the meal prep without a word, whistling pleasantly. He pressed the call-button as he headed for the double-doored kitchen exit.

A favor, he thought, you were asking for a favor, just as he’d encouraged you to… with your reluctance, he thought it would take longer for you to reach out. This was a welcome surprise. The phone rings a few times before you pick up, nervous voice rendered slightly grainy through the speaker. “H-hello?”

“Hey there sweetheart, everything alright?” he cuts to the point, but asks the question casually. His lips quirk upward when he notices the distinct pause on the other end- a response to the endearment he’d tossed in, surely. He indulges himself for a moment by imagining that you must be flustered.

“Uh. Y-yeah, sorry if I was vague, it’s not, um, urgent. It’s just about tomorrow…” You say, skipping over the pet name. A point in his favor, it would do for you to get used to those. Millie had been visually perturbed the first time he called her “sweet pea,” so he’d backed off for a little while, though the way he used epithets of endearment for her came from a place of paternalism rather than…

Well, how did he feel about you, exactly?

“Ah, do you want to take the day off? Want a ride to a clinic, instead?” he offers, hoping you’ll take him up on it. “Finally taking my advice and getting your wrist checked out, huh?”

“Uh, no…” he has to suppress a sigh at that. “Or, m-maybe? But it’s not about that, sir,” he quirks a brow. “I just found out Grub doesn’t have school tomorrow. I don’t have anybody who can watch her, especially not on short notice, so I-I thought that, um…”

“... You want to bring the kiddo?” He finishes for you when you trail off, keeping his voice light.

“If that’s alright… sometimes I bring her to the diner and she hangs out in a booth, but I know this is, uh… a very different type of place.” Thatch chuckles. As much as he did want you to take the time off, you had mentioned it wasn’t within your budget on Friday… Plus, a chance for Grub to warm up to him was something he didn’t want to pass up on.

“We have a break room for a reason, don’t we? We can work something out.” He pauses for a moment. There’s one small problem. “I don’t have a carseat, though…” Maybe Oyaji still had one in storage somewhere, but it would take awhile to find.

“I don’t either,” you confess, voice small. It was that tone he’d become familiar with in his short time as your employer, the one used when you were nervous or self-conscious about something.

“Well, you don’t have a car, so there’s not much of a point,” he comments. Someone in your position had more important things to spend money on, poor thing. “We can stack some heavy books in the backseat.”

“Are you sure..?”

“Well, it’s not ideal, but it should work for one day.”

“I guess so…” You trail off, going quiet for a moment. He’s about to ask if you’re still there, but there’s a muffled creaking sound, and a little voice. It’s clearly Grub, but he can’t make out any words. When he hears you again, it’s quieter- he can visualize you lowering the phone. “I’m calling someone right now, sweetie, I’ll come eat in a moment-” something unintelligible. “I can warm it up again, it’s okay. I’m- I’m working things out. I think you’re coming to work with me tomorrow-”

“DO I GETTA EAT?!” The kid’s voice is suddenly much clearer, the enthusiastic yell carrying through the receiver. Thatch laughs, slapping his free hand over his face. That particular remark had him hard-pressed not to think of Ace’s own little brother.

“Uh, yeeess? Probably.” You pause. “Yes, I can at least get you some of that bread, for sure. Now let me finish the call, okay? I’ll be right there.” The kid says something at a much more normal volume, likely just a confirmation, and then he hears a door slam. “Grub! Careful!” There’s a sigh, and then your voice is clear again, phone no doubt raised back up to your ear. “Sorry about that…”

“Sorry for what? It’s no problem,” he says, smiling wide as he speaks. “And I’ll feed the little insect for free. Friends and family privileges, yeah?” There’s another brief silence, before you stammer out a baffled response.

“Oh. Um. Y-yeah? Thank you?” And then, much quieter, “little insect…” the phone only just catches the snort of laughter you let out. He feels a little fuzzy at that. He wishes he could’ve heard it more clearly.

It’s not something you do very often.

“So, same plan for tomorrow, I pick you up for your shift at 1:30- just with an extra passenger added? Do I have that right?”

“Yeah, p-pretty much,” you confirm.

“Alright! That’s easy. Nothing to worry about, alright?” he assures. There’s another beat of silence. You do tend to get tongue-tied when presented with leniency, no doubt expecting him to be a hardass. Which he definitely was, he just knew when it was appropriate, thank you very much.

“Okay,” you start, quiet but voice steadier. “Alright, sir, I… Thank you. I appreciate it.”

Thatch smiles again, glad to have eased your nerves somewhat. “Of course. I have to go, but if there’s anything else, don’t be a stranger alright?”

“I… won’t. Thank you, sir. G-goodnight.”

“Goodnight, sweetheart.” And with that, Thatch hangs up. He lowers the phone, looking at the screen with warmth before pocketing it and making his way back to the kitchen. He had many of his own duties, but enjoyed working alongside his employees when he could, of course.

He effortlessly slides in next to Genkei at the counter, checking the lanky man’s progress. He was on the last of eight potatoes but hadn’t started on the onions, so Thatch swiped a knife from the block and got to work. He cuts off the top and bottom, leaving the root intact, and then halves it. “What did they say?” Asks Genkei, finishing the potato and dropping the evenly cubed pieces into the bowl with the rest of them.

Thatch doesn’t look up, shucking the outer layers off each side of the onion. “Apparently, their baby sister doesn’t have school tomorrow, and there’s no sitter,” he explains, making quick work of the standard parallel, vertical cuts from the root-end to the top. “So I said I’d pick 'em both up, and the kiddo’s gonna be hangin’ out in the break room.”

“Ohoh! Grub’s gonna visit!” Genkei exclaims, and that gets Thatch’s attention- he looks up to meet Genkei’s smiling face. There’s a strange pang of jealousy that runs through him, settling in his gut. How long had Genkei known about your little sister? But he has the sense to shove that feeling down. You and Genkei work alongside each other and have far more contact than he’s had the chance to, but that can change. Though it’s also surprising he didn’t hear Grub’s name from Genkei himself, considering just how much that man loved to talk. “So, do we get to make the kid some of her namesake?” Genkei quips, drawing Thatch back out of his thoughts.

Thatch chuckles. “Of course. Ace is gonna be in on Monday too. Mr. Black Hole always manages to get a couple free entrees out of us, an’ he’s a grown man with a job. I’m not against spoiling a little kid.” Genkei laughs himself, before snatching another onion and beginning to mirror Thatch. “Speaking of, have you met her, or..?”

“Huh? Oh, Grub? Nah, they talk about her sometimes, but they don’t talk about themselves very much. Which… yeah, I get it,” He says, gesturing vaguely. “Most they said was when they saw my centipede tattoo. Said the kid would really like it.” Genkei beams when he says this, the wrinkles in the corners of his eyes strengthening considerably.

Thatch smiles warmly, and that irrational jealousy turning in his gut calms considerably. “Well, I only saw her briefly, but the kid’s hilarious,” he says, words punctuated by the chopping of his knife.

“It’ll be good to meet her, I’m sure. Excited Ace is showing up, too! It’s been awhile since I’ve seen him,” Genkei sighs wistfully.

This gets a snort out of Thatch. “About a week, if I recall.”

“But it feels like so much longer,” he whines, beginning the first of the parallel cuts on his onion as Thatch has finished dicing his own. The familiar sting of allium fumes aids in Genkei’s theatrics, allowing him to squeeze out a tear.

Thatch laughs, shaking his head. Genkei wasn’t part of the family, but he and Ace were good friends. He was the one who told him to apply for the line cook position in the first place, saying Thatch would throw him a bone. And he was right, of course, he liked to think he took some good qualities from his father.

#one piece x reader #yandere one piece #one piece fanfic #reader insert #Thatch #yandere thatch #thatch x reader #Okay who thinks devil fruits should be canon in this I keep going back and forth

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cowgirlcasanova · 8 months ago

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LIQUOR & LONLINESS

pairing | arthur morgan x fem! oc

summary | arthur sees caroline alone by the fire and gives her some company. caroline can’t stand seeing him so exhausted and tries to take some weight off his shoulders

tags | fluff, flirting but everyone denies it, two idiots pretending not to be in love, fireside chat, massage, cute nervous arthur

word count | 2.5k

a/n | hi bffs! this is my first time ever publishing a fic! i’ve been trying to get back into creative writing again so here we are. please be nice to me ok? :)

i plan on publishing more arthur fics with this oc, building up their world/relationship & revealing her backstory. i just always think it’s so fun to read about ocs so i thought i’d give it a try! so this is a little introduction. hope you like it <3

A small sliver of the moon peeked through the clouds reflecting off the bay surrounding Clemens Point.

The glow of the moon and the dying firelight contrasted beautifully on Carolines face, something Arthur couldn’t help but take notice of as he gazed at her from under the awning of his wagon.

He couldn’t force himself to revert his gaze, completely enthralled by the way the shadows danced across her at the smallest of movements. He was already picturing the angle in which he’d have to move his pencil to even attempt at sketching the sight of the warm and cool light dueling on her face. Arthur cursed himself under his breath at the mere thought of filling another page in his journal with her face, something he’d found himself doing far too often these days.

“Arthur you miserable fool.” He muttered to himself, grimacing as he stretched out his overworked body and rose off his cot.

Caroline sat alone, unsure if the heat she was feeling was radiating from the ebbing fire or from the burn of the dark liquor making its way through her system. She stuck to taking small sips of her glass of bourbon, feeling a strange guilt for drinking it in the first place.

As the only member of the Van Der Linde gang to have advanced medical knowledge it all fell on her to heal their various ailments. She often had just enough supplies to keep everyone afloat, but having the law after you constantly made it a challenge to get your hands on much needed medicine. So, she’d save what she could and turn to liquor as her medicine of choice, trying to save all the expensive tonics and remedies for the traumas that really needed it. Bill complaining of a back injury? Whiskey. The days that Hosea's cough seemed to worsen? Whiskey. Even using whiskey as a last ditch effort to warm John after his wolf attack. She always tried her best to stay out of her own medicinal stash of liquor, But, some nights she wanted the peace that came with the burn of whiskey. Tonight was one of those nights.

“Hey there, Miss Caroline.” Arthurs gruff voice breaks through the unusually silent night. The smell of the burning fire filled his nose as he got closer. He approaches her with a courteous nod, running a hand across his growing stubble.

“Mind if I join ya?” He removed his banged up hat, holding it close over his chest, a small sign of respect toward the lady that did go unnoticed by her. Rarely anything he did went unnoticed by her.

She smiled up at him with the warm smile she always wore, but something about it made him feel like that sweet smile was just for him everytime. Though he’d never let himself believe something as foolish as that. When she turned to look at him the shadows on her face stopped battling and the warm light of the fire covered her completely. From Arthurs vantage point it almost looked as if she was glowing.

“Please do.”

He moves as gently as he can for his size, taking his seat next to her on the old log the gang has fashioned into a bench. His usual confidence was tempered by something softer while next to her. His leg brushes against her knee, as he sits down, a reminder of how close you two are. The weight of his knee was pushing the scratchy material of her skirt against her leg and yet, she can’t bring herself to move her leg away from the tiny space they share. In the harsh life she's suddenly found herself thrown into, although by her own actions. She finds herself craving affection and touch more and more everyday. A gentle touch. Not a casual pat on the shoulder from Dutch or a clap on the back from Sean. Something with meaning behind it, with care and tenderness.

When Arthurs leg stays planted firmly, their knees barely brushing, her heart aches at the thought that the ever so tough man beside her may be feeling the same.

"you doin’ alright this evenin’, caroline?” He asks, his voice softer than usual. His eyes moved across her face, taking in the closeness and her warmth that he was now admiring up close.

“Im doin’ just fine. How ‘bout yourself?” Her sickeningly sweet southern accent hits his ears, making him unable to stop a smile from tugging at his lips.

“I’ve been worse.”

“Long day I take it?” She asks, sipping from her glass, not diverting her gaze from him. Her face takes on a concerned expression. He has to glance away from the look she gives him, deflecting his eyes to the fire. Something about the way she looked at him always seemed so soft and genuine. It turned him into a fool everytime.

“Ain’t they all.” He drawls, letting out a self deprecating chuckle.

Arthur stretches out his sore, muscled arms in front of him in an effort to work out the constant deep ache that his overworked body feels. His biceps flex through the thin material of his button up shirt, the material looking like it could give way any moment, unintentionally drawing Caroline's eye. Her heart speeds up as she takes another sip from her glass, doing her best to quiet her thoughts of him with liquor. A quiet, painful groan slips from his mouth at the movement. He closes his eyes and rolls his neck to try and soothe discomfort.

“Did’ya hurt yourself?” She asks swiftly, her voice filling with immediate concern. Arthur scolded himself, trying to push down the warmth he felt over her worrying for him. It was her job.

His eyes warmed at her concern, making her wonder if it was the pain or her that caused the change. She hoped it was the latter. “my shoulder just been actin’ up on me. nothin’ for you to fuss about.”

“Well, if ya keep throwin’ your weight around it ain’t never gon’ heal.” She laughed softly, shaking her head as if she was scolding the tough and hardened man beside her.

He made a sound somewhere between a chuckle and a groan, hating to be reminded of how often he seemed to be caught in some violent altercation nowadays. He hated it more coming from Caroline, the sweetest woman he knows. He couldn't help but feel like she should loathe him and this life. That she should turn heel and run while she still had a chance at a good life. Maybe even being able to settle down with a rich man somewhere, raise a family. The things a woman like her should be able to do. Not running with a gang of criminals.

“It ain’t the “throwing my weight around,” He says chuckling, repeating her choice of wording. “I’m just gettin’ old”

“Oh, you are not gettin’ old you silly man!” She whacked his arm playfully, the sound making a weak thump because of her carefulness, taking extra precaution to hit his forearm and not his sore shoulder.

All he musters out is a small lighthearted scoff at her strike, which felt more like a love tap.

“It ain’t age! It's all that punchin’ you're doing.” A weak attempt at chastising him, but she's not able to keep the smile off her lips long enough. “And yes, I did hear about that fight at the saloon.”

He looked over at her and the way she clicked her tongue in disapproval. She was still wearing that same smile. He couldn’t help but chuckle when she raised her eyebrows at him, the expression playfully reprimanding him and silently telling him that she was owed an answer.

“Yeah, I guessed you would’ve heard about it. But, they were was askin’ for it.” He felt an odd sense of understanding when she didn’t disagree with him but instead laughed and shook her head affectionately. “I'm sure they was.” Maybe she didn’t see him and his life as horribly as he thought.

“I guess maybe I can be a hotheaded fool sometimes.” He spoke, berating himself under the appearance of a good humored joke.

“That you certainly can be.” She chuckled, with a warm grin. He heard no malice in her words.

The way Arthur sits with his shoulders hunched forward, It's obvious he’s tired, sore, and overworked. It breaks her heart, the way he does so much for others here just to end up sitting here aching internally and externally.

“C’mere,” She gestures to the dirt ground under her feet. “Let me see what I can do for ya.” the pleading in her voice sounds like this is just as much for her as it is for him.

He doesn't want to. Making her work for him? No, it should be the other way. For a girl like her, he should be spending every waking minute running around making sure she has everything she could possibly want.

Before he can turn down her offer, she snaps her fingers, pointing at the same spot. She won't allow him to put himself last this time.

“Yes ma’am” He chuckles at her unusual assertiveness.

She carefully lays her hand on his shoulder, as if she was checking to make sure he wouldn’t flee like a wild horse the moment he felt her touch. Once certain, she rolls the pad of her thumb over his sore muscle, taking great care to be gentle. Like there was something she cherished under hands. The fabric of his shirt moves along with the movement of her thumb, stopping her hands from being able to touch his skin.

His broad shoulders relax under her touch, goosebumps rising over his skin when she touches him so delicately. He’s grateful for the shirt covering him so she can’t feel the way his skin reacts so easily to her touch. His head hangs forward as he lets out a quiet groan of contentment, relishing in the feeling. Whether it's the feeling of the sore muscle being worked loose or the feeling of being cared for so sweetly he’s not so sure. She peers down at his face and sees his eyes flutter closed as she continues her soothing movement. Her eyes were stuck on his face as he relaxed for the first time.

The smile lines around his mouth made it obvious he wore a warm expression often no matter how tough he looked at a moment's glance. His aging eyes were developing small wrinkles on the outer corners from years of squinting in the sun and all the times his bountiful laugh trailed up to his eyes. He always smelled of tobacco and ash, even his scent exuded warmth if you're able to get close enough to notice.

Arthur Morgan, The man who could make statues talk. He didn’t look intimidating to her, he rarely ever did but, especially not in the vulnerable position she’s seeing him in now. In their closeness, she could see the way the longer pieces of his growing stubble had a small curl to them, The way he had a few tiny freckles across the bridge of his nose, presumably from being in the sun his whole life. She realized he didn’t look so sad for once, he looked peaceful. And she was the one making him feel that way.

“That helpin’ at all?” She asks quietly, close enough to him that he feels her breath against his ear.

He nods sleepily, angling his neck to the left to stretch the muscle she’s working on. With the more exposed area, she runs her thumb along his neck, landing just under his jaw bone. He lets out a low, content murmur to answer her. “Mhmm” With her hands on him, she can feel the vibration of his rumble throughout her.

“Alrigh’, jus’ relax.” She whispers, her calm voice mixing with the sound of the crackling fire and the waves of the bay lapping quietly.

He lets out quiet, low groans here and there. The rumble in his voice suggests the sound is emanating from somewhere deep in his chest. His head hangs in his calm state, being enveloped in warm light.

Although this was meant to help him, she could feel it soothing her as well. She craved tenderness so deeply that this moment felt like a relief from all the toughness around her. She wasn’t just offering gentleness, she was receiving it. Arthur trusted her touch and surrendered to it. In this intimate moment, he let her be gentle and soft. For now that’s what she needed.

Even though his hands weren't on her at all, she felt as though they may as well could've been.

“That should help it at least.” She feathers her massage off, now just gently running a soothing hand over the muscle. “I don’t wanna end up aggravatin’ it more.”

He rolls his neck as he stands back up, positioning himself on the log once more. “Felt real nice. Thank ya” She feels his hand pat against her knee, gently squeezing it. Her leg felt cold after the loss of contact, even through a layer of fabric. A chill goes through her entire body. She's grateful for the long skirt covering her legs so he can’t feel the goosebumps across them.

“Don't mention it.” She says dismissively, although her heart is hammering in her chest. She takes a sip from her glass hoping he’ll believe the alcohol is the reason for the redness washing over the apples of her cheeks. “Just glad it did ya some good.”

“You’re a damn fine nurse, Caroline” A smile tugs at the corners of his mouth, looking almost jovial in nature. He doesn’t look so tense anymore. His shoulders fall in a more relaxed manner and the fire casts long bronze shadows over him, creating contours on his face that give his usually piercing eyes a new kind of gentleness.

“Well thank you Mr. Morgan” She beams at him, happy that her work is noticed. Especially by him. She’s constantly half exhausted with all she does in camp, fixing every small ailment that anyone complains of. And yet, shes not bringing in money or doing “domestic chores” so, Grimshaw sees no worth in her. “I do my best to keep you boys alive.” She laughs.

He scoffs with a lighthearted chuckle at her calling him “Mr. Morgan” He turns his gaze to the fire, watching it dance for a few moments before his eyes flicker down to his hands, looking at them with distant thought. “We’d probably be in a lot worse shape without ya…”

“Oh, I don’t know about that.” She laughs bashfully. She’s never been one to accept a compliment easily. But, something about the sincerity his voice holds always manages to make her consider that it could be the truth. She laughs again, shaking her head as if she was physically shaking the thought out. “Now, any other ways you’ve gone and gotten yourself hurt that I should know about?” Her eyebrows raise playfully.

The same scoff leaves his mouth, along with a low chuckle. “No, nothin’ else. Not now at least.”

“Well stop goin’ and gettin’ yourself hurt and maybe it’ll stay that way.” A warm smile bloomed across her face. He couldn’t help but notice the way a small crinkle formed across the bridge of her nose when she laughed. The sight captivated him too much, she seemed almost holy to him.

“I’ll try. No promises” He said with a chuckle that sounded from deep within his chest. “But, I'll try for you.”

#rdr2 #rdr2 community #red dead redemption 2 #rdr2 fandom #arthur morgan #rdr2 arthur #rdr2 fanfic #rdr fanfiction #rdr2 fanfiction #arthur morgan fanfiction #fluff

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sstrawberrysalsa · 1 year ago

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Hello!! im doing some small characters doodles for just 2 kofis to help me stay afloat for a little more while in college, im strungling financially a lot atm Any characyer from any fandom even if i dont know abt! (except hoyoverse games)

-no ocs -no backgrounds -maybe nsfw (ask first)

on the donation message write down the character and fandom and i will make you a doodle of them!

#salsa ramble #maccadam #transformers #salsa art #my art #mtmte #pokemon #pkmn

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sarahsmi13s · 2 years ago

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Bloodstained Sandbags

whumptober day 1 : bloody knuckles

pairing: eddie diaz x reader

characters: eddie diaz, fem!reader, christopher diaz, evan buckley, scott (oc)

warnings: 18+ MDNI, nightmares, panic attacks, crying, blood, disassociation, SA (not in vivid detail, but it is spoken about), language, caretaking, PTSD, resetting a dislocated shoulder, talks of therapy, mentions of underground fighting, please tell me if i missed any

word count: ~5.6k

a/n: this is for whumptober! please please please proceed with caution and use discretion, protect your peace

also if you are on the whump taglist but are not familiar with a character, you can skip it will not hurt my feelings!

whumptober 2023 masterlist

summary: healing is draining and you're trying everything you can to stay afloat... can a new workout routine help keep you above water as you support eddie through his trauma while you work through your own?

You really thought that when Eddie started working at the dispatch center, things were going to get better for you. You thought you would sleep better, your nightmares fading away as you always had your protector next to you now. You were safe, no one could hurt you with Eddie at your side.

But it didn’t seem to matter, because you couldn’t close your eyes without being back in that damn break room – the break room you no longer set foot in.

It was like even though you knew you were safe with Eddie… a sick, twisted part of you kept reminding you that Eddie wouldn’t always be there to protect you.

And the thing was, Eddie had no idea.

No idea that you were struggling. That for months you were feeling sick to your stomach everytime you got up to get ready for work. That you wanted his touch but had a mini panic attack every time he touched you when you weren’t expecting it.

But he had no idea what happened to you either. You were afraid to tell him. Afraid he’d leave you, though logically you knew he would never do that.

Except there wasn’t a good time to tell him, either. He was having a hard time with his PTSD and you were doing the best you could to help him while also trying to keep yourself above water.

Which is why you started going to the gym… The sweating, the adrenaline, all of it just made you feel stronger.

And that’s where you picked up on learning to fight, you wanted to be ready. Ready to protect yourself or Christopher if the situation presented itself and Eddie wasn’t around.

You sighed as you walked into yours and Eddie’s apartment, your body stiff and sore from your workout. You managed to scrape your knuckles just a little bit too but it wasn’t too noticeable.

You hung your purse up and set your gym bag down. “Eddie? Chris?”

You heard Eddie’s voice come from the kitchen. “We’re in here, Honey!”

You smiled and walked into the kitchen, seeing them at the table. “How are my boys?” You went over and kissed them both on the head, “I’m sorry if I made you wait, I got really in the zone at the gym and the traffic was a monster.”

“Oh it’s no problem, I was just getting started on the veggies. Why don’t you go shower and it should be ready by the time you're done,” Eddie said as he stood and kissed the side of your head before returning to cutting the vegetables.

You nodded at him before ruffling Chris’s hair, “Do you have any homework you need help with?” He nodded, “Yeah, math stuff.” “Alrighty, I’ll help you after dinner, okay?” “Okay.”

Smiling, you kissed his head again before going to take a shower.

Once you went into the bathroom, you were all too ready to peel the sweaty gym clothes off of you.

Your leggings peeled off with a wet sound, and if someone heard it they would have thought that you jumped into the ocean with your clothes on. The collar of your cutout t-shirt was soaked enough that you could ring it out. Your sports bra was practically the same way.

“I went way harder than I thought…” you mumbled to yourself as you dropped your clothes into a pile and checked the temperature of your shower.

Scalding hot, just like you liked it.

You stepped under the water, wincing slightly at the initial bite of the heat on your skin. But as you stood there under the water both the heat and pressure seemed to massage your muscles, allowing you to relax.

The shower was the only way you could get a massage, it was the only place you allowed yourself to feel vulnerable.

And you never went to a masseuse at all because Eddie was enough. But now, after everything that happened, the idea of being pinned under someone with your back exposed and their hands on you like that could send you into a panic attack.

He had tried once after he started his therapy sessions, realizing he had been neglecting you and wanted to help you work out the soreness of your muscles.

But you were fighting a panic attack the whole time. You had to hold a conversation with him and ask him to not put his full weight on you. He cooperated without question of course and then you sat and chatted about your day.

Though you haven’t let him do it since, fearing that you would be able to hold it together and freak out on him.

Showers were your source of muscle relaxation. So that’s why you stood there, water pressure on pulse and heat turned up to hell.

When you felt satisfied, you turned the temperature down and finished your shower, ending with a cold rinse just to soothe your skin before getting out and getting dressed in a pair of shorts and one of Eddie’s shirts then joining the boys for dinner.

Eddie watched you wash dishes with a smile on his face as he leaned against the fridge.

He had cleaned out the sink, putting plates, bowls, utensils, and cups into the dishwasher while you were helping Chris with homework. But now you were working on pots and pans because they just didn’t fit in the dishwasher with the other things, often needing to be washed separately – and that took too long for your liking.

So after getting Chris settled down in his room, Eddie came back to watch you, wanting to spend alone time with you since you rarely got that lately.

Not that he was necessarily mad about it, he respected boundaries when and where you set them – no questions asked.

But he was pulled to action when he heard you wince, taking a step and a half to meet you as you turned for a towel.

“What happened?” Eddie asked, holding your hand as you dabbed it dry, wincing as you did so.

You shook your head, not answering him as you took the towel away to blow on the raw skin of your busted knuckles. You had gotten lemon juice and salt on them from cleaning the cutting board you had used this morning, and it hurt like a bitch.

Eddie froze for a second. Where had you gotten bruised and scraped up knuckles from? You hadn’t had those this morning…

In a quick scan, he checked you over for injuries. If you had a bruised cheekbone or black-eye that he somehow missed during dinner. But you were clean, so he could cross fight off the list.

“Nena… what happened?”

His voice was gentle as he took the towel away from you and pressed a gentle kiss to your knuckles. He was worried, because last time he started coming home with busted knuckles he was underground fighting…

But you wouldn’t do that? Would you?

“I was at the gym and I scraped it, not a big deal.”

He nodded and rubbed his thumb gently over it. “Let me finish the dishes.”

It wasn’t a question, it was a statement. Eddie was going to finish the dishes, and he wasn’t going to argue.

You sighed and moved out of the way, letting him take over but you didn’t leave and instead wrapped your arms around his waist, resting your head on his back. After your day at work and then going so hard at the gym, you need this comfort. The domesticity of it all, the safety of it all.

Over the next few weeks things seemed to be getting a little better. Sure, you were still having nightmares and coming home with slightly bruised knuckles but Eddie’s surprise touches didn’t spook you anymore. You were also considering becoming more intimate with Eddie again as he seemed to be doing better as well and was seeking out the contact again.

Things were just slowly coming back to normal, well as normal as the could be, but things were getting better

But then something happened at work, and it set all of your progress back.

You were walking to your desk from the supply closet with more file folders, since you were doing some re-organizing and needed new ones, when you bumped into someone.

They caught you before you fell, steadying you with their hands on your waist. Huffing out a surprised laugh, you looked up to thank them but you nearly choked on air when you saw whose hands were on you.

Panic shot through you like lightning and you put distance between you and Scott immediately, not caring if it was rude or not.

“Woah, Y/N, you okay?” He asked, but the smirk pulling at the corner of his lips told you that he knew the answer.

How could you be okay? After not seeing him that up close for months, then all of a sudden his hands are on you again and you’re back to being the weak little girl you were in the break room that night.

“S-S-Scott, I-I thought you were um late shift?” You stuttered, your eyes looking for escapes to your desk in your periphery.

He put a hand in his pocket nonchalantly, attempting to lure you into a false sense of security, that that side of his body was safe to escape through – it wasn’t.

“Oh, I am, but I decided to come in on a Saturday. I needed another day on my paycheck since I took a day off this week.”

You nodded, jaw setting and grinding your back teeth together as you tried to avoid looking at his face. “I see. Well Scott, if you’ll excuse me I need to get… get back to my desk.” You cursed yourself for starting so confident but then losing it as the breath just slowly got pulled from your lungs.

Scott just smirked. He could see the fear in your eyes and the cottonmouth you were getting just being in his presence. He thrived on it, knowing that corporate wasn’t going to follow up on the claim you made to HR and that you weren’t in a great position to quit so you had to stay for just a little longer.

But he just caught you one unlucky night where you had to stay late to finish a project, considering you didn’t work the night hours because you usually needed to be home with Chris because Eddie was working a shift. The one time Buck was off you took advantage of it and stayed late to catch up.

And you haven’t stayed late since…

“Oh, by all means, don’t let me stop you, I was just on my way to get some coffee.”

You were trying so hard not to clam up and just bolt to your desk and pack up. But you calmly nodded and just squatted down to pick up the folders you dropped.

You hated having your back to him and your hands shook furiously as you collected the pale yellow folders.

“You look like you could use a break, why don’t you join me?” Scott’s voice was right in your ear. It was low and raspy as his hand gripped your shoulder.

Trying your best to just shrug it off, you shook your head. “No, I’m alright. I need to get back to work.”

He clicked his tongue and shook his head, “I insist.” His voice was demanding as his fingers curled around your joint and dug into your collarbone.

Instantly your arm shot up and pushed him off you. “I said no.”

You scooped up the remaining folders and dignity and went toward your desk. Just to have fingers curled around your wrist and pulling you back into a hard chest.

“I’m trying to be nice and you’re being a bitch.”

Rolling your lips between your teeth, you tried to yank your wrist away – twisting and pulling at his grip to get him to let go. “You just don’t know how to understand the word ‘no’. I don’t want coffee, I just want to go to my desk.”

You swallowed, finally looking in his eyes, shredding any last dignity you had. “Please Scott… you got what you wanted, just leave me alone… please…”

The canines he bared as he smiled wide made you sick to your stomach, but as he opened his mouth to speak his attention was pulled away and you took that chance to free yourself. You twisted your wrist and pushed the files into his chest before booking it to your desk.

After gathering your things and rushing to your manager’s office, pleading to her with shaky hands as you told her something had happened and you needed to get home to Chris.

She immediately let you leave, not questioning it as you thanked her and ran out to your car.

The drive home was a total blur, taking the turns on auto pilot as you tried not to break down before you were in the safety of your own home and not risking anyone else’s safety.

And when you finally got home, you were booking it to the fridge to get a cold water bottle to maybe shock your system into calming down. But in your haste you missed the fact that Buck and Chris are home, and not out at the aquarium like you thought they were.

Buck had heard you come in and watched you nearly trip over yourself to get to the kitchen, abandoning your purse and keys on the floor.

Chris had seen it too and looked at Buck concerned, having never once seen you like this. “Buck?” Buck ruffled Chris’s hair, “I’ll go see what’s up. You stay here okay?” Chris just nodded and watched Buck get up and go to the kitchen.

Buck went to the kitchen, finding you chugging the cold water as you white knuckled the counter.

“Y/N? You’re home early.”

The way you jumped, hand clenching around the bottle so hard that water shot out of it – it would have been comical had the dilated look in your wide eyes not set off alarm bells in Buck’s head.

You watched, caught like a deer in headlights, as concern washed over Buck’s face and filled his eyes with pity. Immediately your back was turned to him, shielding your breaking resolve from his helping hand.

With the blood pounding in your ears, you missed his approach until he was touching you. You jerked again under his touch, weakly muttering out, “P-please don’t touch me.”

Buck’s heart sank. He had never heard you sound like this before… so broken…

It sent him back to the night Eddie had destroyed your room in a fit of helplessness, how terrified his best friend was. How you sat with Eddie, him now remembering your bruised knuckles encasing Eddie’s in an act of comfort.

“Y/N… what happened? What’s wrong?”

“No-nothing, just-just…”

He tried to turn you and get you to face him, to get a read on your face and figure out what to do. But you yelped and pushed him back, sending his stunned 6’2” frame into the table.

“Buck you need to leave…”

“Y/N-”

“Leave Evan!”

Buck swallowed, trying not to be hurt as he turned on his heel and went to say goodbye to Christopher.

You watched him leave the kitchen, your ears hot and tingling as you looked at the mess you made. You needed to clean it up before Chris came in here and slipped.

Hearing Buck close the front door, you carefully made your way to the laundry room to get a dirty bath towel to clean it up. Your vision tunneled, your ears rang and you felt that sick snag in your chest as the air was stopping half way down your throat.

By the time you get there your legs can barely hold you up as you get to the washer and sink down to the floor. Sobs are wracking your chest and you can only pray Chris can’t hear you.

But your prayers went unanswered, because Chris can hear you and he is scared.

Your broken sobs and ragged breathing are reminding him of the night Eddie punched those holes in the wall… and the night you came home and took a long shower thinking Chris was asleep and couldn’t hear you crying through the wall.

Chris abandoned the video game in front of him and put himself on a mission to find you. He could follow the sound of your cries to where you were sitting on the cold floor, head between your knees as you tried to breathe regularly.

“Y/N?” He gently called out, hoping you could hear him.

He watched you thread your hands in your hair and pull at the roots, sucking in jagged breaths just for them to be forced out with the next sob.

He didn’t like seeing you like this and he hated that he wasn’t sure how to help. But he knew he had to try.

Chris called out your name again as he approached you, not wanting to scare you and send you further into your panic. You must have recognized his voice because you seemed to calm down just a bit. He sat down on the floor next to you and put his hands on yours on top of your head.

“You’re safe, it’s okay, Y/N. I’m here.” He recalled the phrases you had repeated to him when he was having trouble after the tsunami. He had to pull from what he was shown, he had barely anything to go off of and he just had to hope that it was enough.

With Chris putting his hands on yours, talking to you gently, you could feel yourself slowly calming down. His hands were so drastically different from the ones that had bruised your skin, that it managed to remind you that you were home and that you were safe.

“Please, Y/N…”

You look up at him slowly, your hands letting go of your hair and holding his hands. “It’s okay, you’re safe.” Chris moved your hands to his face, hoping that it can help to ground you.

Your thumbs immediately began to rub back and forth on his cheeks, him taking deep breaths to help you find a rhythm. “Follow me, Y/N. Just like you tell me…”

Chris watched the fog clear from your eyes as you began to calm down and lean forward to press a kiss to his head as a thank you before resting your forehead on his. He wrapped his arms around you as best he could and you pulled him into your lap, your head falling to his shoulder.

You sat there for a bit in silence, rubbing Chris’s back as you managed to collect yourself.

“I’m sorry if I scared you, Chris. I didn’t mean to,” you apologized, breaking the silence. “Are you okay?” His voice was soft and gentle as he pulled back a little. You’re nodding immediately, “I’m better now, thank you buddy.”

“Do I need to call Dad?”

You shook your head, “No, it’s okay. I’ll be alright.”

He nodded before tilting his head a little, “Why are you mad at Buck? Did he do something bad?”

Your heart sank. He had heard you yell at Buck, and you hardly ever yelled around Chris – if ever. And now you’ve come home early, yelled at one of your best friends, and had a full blown panic attack with Christopher as a witness.

“Oh Chris… Buck didn’t do anything wrong. I shouldn’t have yelled at him. I’m not mad.”

“Why did you yell at him?”

“I was just feeling a lot of things and it was just what happened. I could have handled it better and I will in the future,” you said gently as you pushed some of his curls back.

You sniffled a little bit, “Why don’t you go back to the living room and I’ll make you some lunch after I get changed?” You gave him the best smile you could and kissed his forehead after he nodded.

“Okay, let’s go.”

Eddie had come home around 5:30 to you already finishing up on getting dinner ready.

“Honey? What are you doing home?”

“Oh, I got the stuff I need to get done early so I decided to just come home,” you said nonchalantly with a shrug.

He smiled and came up behind you to kiss your cheek before he went to get changed. But as he placed his hand on the small of your back, you jumped.

Eddie’s brow furrowed, you had never reacted like that to him. But he didn’t get to ask you, because you turned your head and planted a kiss on his lips. “I love you, Eddie.” He smiled softly and kissed your forehead, “I love you too, Y/N.”

You wrapped your arms around him and buried your face into his shoulder, smelling his coffee and whiskey body spray. He hugged you back, albeit a little confused, but he could tell you needed this.

After a few moments, you pulled back, “Go get changed and cleaned up, I’ll have it plated for you by the time you get back.” He nodded and kissed your temple, “Yes ma’am.”

You smiled and pecked his jaw before he went to change.

When he came back, Eddie found you and Chris at the table, his plate made up for him just like you said it would be.

“It looks fantastic, Honey, thank you,” he said, announcing his presence before touching your shoulder and kissing the top of your head. You smiled at him, “Of course, Sweetheart.” He sat down next to you, his hand on your thigh, just resting there as you ate.

You talked about his day and everything that went on – you having been getting his twitter notifications and just wanted a little more detail.

But when he turned and asked you about your day, you clammed up and just told him it was like any other day, you just skipped the gym today because you wanted to surprise him with dinner. And you left it at that, leaving no more room for conversation about your day.

After dinner you all went to the living room to watch movies before Chris went to bed. It was your weekend routine.

Except tonight you broke routine.

You decided that you wanted to go ahead and go to the gym, just to get a small workout in before you went to bed. So, after you did the dishes you got in your gym clothes and gave Chris a hug and Eddie a quick kiss before leaving.

It had all happened so quickly that Eddie didn’t get a chance to really slow you down and ask you what was up. This behavior was just so off to him that he just wanted an explanation.

And he did… just not from you.

After you lifted weights for God knows how long, you finally went over to the punching bag.

You had been on autopilot the moment you left the house.

And yeah, you felt bad for just leaving Eddie hanging like that. Giving him no explanation other than you just wanted to. But you had been thrumming since your panic attack, using that energy on deep cleaning and laundry — too on edge to rest or sit still.

You needed an aggressive outlet for all that energy, you had to get to the gym.

So that’s where you’ve been. Lifting weights and running until near collapse.

Now you were hastily wrapping your hands to take it all out on the punching bag. The poor inanimate object becoming the true outlet of your emotions, taking blow after blow as you wail on it. Your emotions from earlier in the day being released in the form of punches.

You hated that Scott was able to revert you back to the scared girl you were that night, smothering all the progress you had thought you made.

The swinging sandbag in front of you felt like a wall as you hit it with every you had. Flashes of that night played behind your closed lids as you seemingly lost control.

You could feel his hands on you again, touching you with evil intentions. His hands mocked Eddie, tainted the loving touch of your boyfriend with his greediness.

Your hips digging into the counter, bruised with the force of Scott pinning you in place. You couldn’t escape, you didn’t know how to escape.

With each moment flashing, each ghostly touch reminding you of what he did to you in the break room, you punched harder — oblivious to the pain shooting up your arm with each solid hit.

You couldn’t stop. You didn’t want to stop.

You just wanted it all to go away.

And in those moments you didn’t feel the tears running down your cheeks, you were numb. You hadn’t noticed the break in your poorly wrapped tape, which allowed your bare knuckles to meet with the canvas bag.

The tears and dissociation blurred your vision and you were blind to the fact the red spots and streaks covering the rough beige fabric was your own blood.

You had broken the skin on your knuckles, staining the sandbag with your blood as tears stained your cheeks.

But when you land a particularly hard punch and your shoulder pops grotesquely next to your ear do you snap out of it.

“Oh fuck!”

Your curse was picked up by a nearby girl who had come in at the same time as you.

“Oh my goodness! Are you okay?!”

Your head whipped up to look at her and you caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror.

You didn’t look good, covered head to toe in red splotches and sweat. You looked down at your knuckles and saw that your tape was practically non-existent and your hand was covered in crimson.

“Ma’am? Are you okay?”

You blinked and looked at the girl. “Yeah… yes yes I’m fine. I just… I need to go home. My boyfriend is probably worried.”

“Are you sure? That crack sounded bad…”

“Thank you for your concern but I’m alright. You have a good night and be safe, please.”

She could only nod as you quickly grabbed your bag and went out to your car.

You knew you’d be driving with just one arm and you really didn’t want to deal with an midnight ER on a Saturday night so you went straight home — knowing that you’d need Eddie.

Eddie sat in the living room, his knee bouncing with nerves as he waited for you to get home.

You hadn’t answered your phone and he was starting to get worried. With his line of work, he was already thinking the worst. Did you get into an accident? Did you get taken? He had his radio on the coffee table listening closely while he waited, hoping that he didn’t hear anything related to you come over the device.

Then he heard it. The front door opening and closing followed by keys in the bowl and a bag hitting the floor.

You were home, so at least there’s that relief.

He looked up and over as you walked by, arm cradling the other as you sniffled.

“Chris was worried about you.”

Eddie watched you tense, but you didn’t turn to face him.

He stood walking over to you. “He told me you had a panic attack when you came home today, you know, after you yelled at Buck to leave. Then you weren’t here when he went to bed. He knows something is wrong, and he’s worried it’s his fault.”

That made you turn, allowing Eddie to see the rush of tears on your face as you still cradled your arm.

“No, God no. This is nowhere near Chris’s fault.” Your voice was thick with emotion as you spoke and the realization dawned on you that you would have to tell Eddie everything.

“Did I do something? Because I thought we talked about things and worked things out. If I did, please tell me… I want to fix it… I can’t lose you…”

“Oh Eddie…”

“Please mi vida…” Eddie’s voice was soft and low as he rubbed your arms.

You covered your mouth, attempting to conceal the sob of pain and regret. But you couldn’t hide the small yelp or your bloody fist.

Concerned, Eddie put his hands on your shoulders, freezing when he felt the slipped ball and socket joint and you sobbed into your hand.

“Sweetheart?”

“Fix it… please, it hurts so bad…”

Eddie nodded and carefully got himself into position, “You ready?” “Just do i- AH!” Mid sentence, Eddie popped your shoulder back into place.

“You’re okay, you’re okay,” he soothed as you sobbed into his shoulder.

“I’m sorry Eddie… I’m so sorry…”

He ran a hand through the hair at the back of your head, “Hey, lets get your hands cleaned up okay? Then we’ll talk, yeah?”

You nodded before stepping back, instinctively wiping your face with the back of your hand — smearing a little blood on your face.

Eddie tensed a little, that was the worst he’s seen your knuckles and it was starting to look suspicious to him. But you had come home the other times with no other injuries so he had no reason to question you about it.

But he could see clearly that something was wrong. Very wrong.

Eddie gently grabbed your hand and took you to the kitchen.

Without a word he sat you on the counter and grabbed the med kit from under the sink.

You both stayed quiet as he dampened a towel and cleaned you up, he inspected for tenderness and any signs of trauma to your hands other than the obvious.

Once he was done, you both sat in silence for a moment before you spoke up.

“It’s not what it may look like…”

“Oh yeah? Cause it looks like you’ve been fighting. I've seen the bruises on your knuckles but I don’t say anything because I didn’t want to assume. But after today I don’t know what to think.”

Your eyes fill with tears and you shake your head. “That’s not it, I swear. It’s just…” A weight settled on your chest as you realized this was the moment you would have to tell him and possibly change your relationship forever.

“Honey… please talk to me, I’m scared. I don’t want to lose you.”

And with that the damn was broken and you sobbed into your hands.

Eddie gave you a moment to calm down, comforting you as best he could until you were ready.

Once you were composed, you spilled everything.

From you needing to stay late to you going to the break room for a snack to when Scott walked in and shoved your dignity in the paper shredder.

Eddie was listening intently, his rage rising in his body but he tried not to show it and keep a gentle expression for your sake.

But hearing you, here and now, sounding so ashamed and scared. Recounting the night in detail.

And he had been so caught up in the job change that he hadn’t noticed. He hadn’t noticed that the love of his life was suffering because he wasn’t there.

It wasn’t until his son came to him that he noticed something was wrong.

“Eddie, I’m so sorry, I’m so so sorry,” you sobbed, clinging onto him. “It didn’t… I didn’t want it, please you have to believe me.”

He felt his heart shatter in his chest.

You were begging for forgiveness for something that wasn’t your fault.

“I believe you Sweetheart, I believe you.”

He pulled back a little, “I-Is this why you’ve been going to the gym?” You nodded, whimpering a little as more tears filled your eyes, “You won’t always be there… and I just… I want to be ready to protect myself or Christopher.”

You held your hand up and flexed it a little, “I saw Scott for the first time since that night today at work, that’s why I had the panic attack. And I needed an outlet, I didn’t know I was bleeding until I dislocated my shoulder.”

Eddie wiped your eyes, “Y/N I’m so sorry I never noticed… I should have been there…” You shake your head, “I didn’t tell you Eddie, you were going through a lot and I didn’t want to add on…”

He frowned a little but kissed your forehead. It made him feel awful that you thought you couldn’t come to him. You were processing something alone while helping him get better and that wasn’t fair.

“Would you be willing to go to a professional about this? For you and for us? Just so we can learn to get through this together,” he laced your fingers together and kissed your knuckles.

You nodded and pressed your forehead to his, “I want to try.” You brought in a breath, “I have to quit my job…”

He hummed and nodded against you, “Please quit, I make enough, we'll be okay. And we can pull from savings if we need to.”

“Thank you.”

Eddie nudged your nose with his, “I love you, so much.”

You smiled softly and flattened your palm over his heart, “I love you too, Eds. So so much.”

He wrapped you in his arms and just held you there. Planting gentle kisses to your head and whispering little jokes in your ear to make you laugh.

And that’s when you knew that it would all be okay, that it would be better. Maybe not tomorrow, but someday.

As long as you had Eddie, you would be okay.

taglists: @bradleybeachbabe @valmare @fanboyswhore9 @cassiemitchell @startrekfangirl2233

hi, if you're seeing this and are currently not on the taglist and would like to be please fill out the taglist form -> whumptober taglist

i can not stress this enough, but whumptober can have some very serious and heavy topics and i want to make sure i am doing my part as an author to prepare my readers for what they are about to experience and that includes not only warnings above but my taglists as well

so if you want to be added check out the masterlist and read that carefully and fill out the form -> whumptober 2023

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tadc-harlequin-au · 10 months ago

Note

Hi! Hello! Hey!

I have a question about souls and puppets.

Can a soul exist without a body for a long time, for example a human year or two? And can a puppet be functional without a soul?

I have an idea for two Harlequin OCs and i want two write their story in a fanfic.

The idea is about puppet twins. A soul without body, and a body without soul.

So that's the whole idea. I need master advise! Tell me, Sensei, what should I do?

A soul may continue to exist, but unfortunately they will be stuck in a limbo. Contrasting the void's bright skies would be endless darkness surrounding the soul, as they float and "sleep", stuck in a dream simulation to help keep them stay afloat until a body suitable to house a life can be found.

One can communicate with the soul inside the die if capable, but it's like talking to a sleeping person, or a ghost completely oblivious to it's surroundings.

However, with such a unique case as yours... a Puppet with no soul, means that this bot technically falls under the category of a Marionette... but at the same time, it's not, due to the very specific circumstance of a Marionettes' secret true nature.

What's powering this Puppet body that has no soul?

#thanks for the ask!#tadc #tadc au #harlequin au #tadc harlequin au #the amazing digital circus #au oc

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its-all-or-nothing94 · 2 years ago

Text

Racing Hearts - Part 4 // Charles Leclerc x Reader

Summary: The first encounter with being in the public eye - and you're not to happy about it. But also: FIRST DAY ON THE PADDOCK!

Masterlist Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Warnings: Pure Fluff and some snuggling

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Reader

A/N: So, we are on our first day on the paddock :) AND I'M SO EXCITED THAT IT'S RACEWEEKEND AGAIN! (not only in my story)

Disclaimer: This story is purely fictional, and any character portrayals are just how I wrote them - hence fictional! I don't know them, except my OCs.

Tagging: @liebgotts-lovergirl, @softly-writes, @bellewintersroe, @faithm120601, @needtokeepfeelingsincheck, @bbygrllllllll

After your wonderful date, you woke up with a big smile plastered on your face, but just as the day before, Sofia came jumping into your room.

"Holy sweet cheeks, you are already famous!" she exclaimed, and you looked at her confused.

"What the hell are you talking about, Sof?" you asked, rubbing your eyes.

Sofia took out her phone and held it into your face. "About this, silly. They wrote about you. In the news !!"

You took Sofia's phone and stared at the tabloid.

Love Afloat: Charles Leclerc's Yacht Romance with Mystery Blonde - Is Isabella Rossi History? Monaco's beloved racer, Charles Leclerc, was seen sharing an intimate moment on his yacht with a stunning unknown blonde beauty. The pair seemed to be in a world of their own as they exchanged a passionate kiss under the Mediterranean sun. But what about his long-term relationship with glamorous model Isabella Rossi? Have the winds of change blown a new love into Charles's life? Our exclusive sources reveal that the young couple's romance has hit the rocks, with whispers of tension and heated arguments. Could this encounter with the mysterious blonde be a sign of moving on? We can't help but wonder - is Charles Leclerc ready to sail away from the past and embrace a new adventure with this enchanting stranger? Stay tuned as we keep you updated on all the juicy details!

You sat up straight in your bed, reading the article. "What the fuck! What is this?"

Sofia cocked an eyebrow. "This, my dear, is called being in the spotlight."

"What? I mean... why?" you asked, giving Sofia back her phone.

"Because you, sweetie, are dating Charles Leclerc. That's why." Sofia lay down on your bed, looking through the article again.

"We're not dating. We're just..."

"Snuggling?"

You took your pillow and threw it at Sofia, who looked at you shocked, but then you two started laughing.

"Just ignore it, okay? They write about everything they can get their hands on", Sofia assured you and you thought about it. You tried not to let this get to you.

The days passed, and Charles and you spent a lot of time together. He showed you all his favorite spots and places you would've never seen as a normal tourist.

As Monaco race week approached, Charles had to focus on the race more and more, and he had less time to spend with you. At that time, he sent you random cute texts to let you know that he was thinking of you.

You felt like you were in a dream, watching from the sidelines as Charles worked hard to prepare for the race. You knew how important this was to him, but it was hard not to feel a little left behind.

You didn't take it too personally, as you spent the days with Sofia and, to your surprise, also with Lorenzo, who was with them a lot since the encounter at Jimmy'z.

One morning Sofia and you went shopping to get new clothes for the race, as the brunette stated. And by shopping, Sofia meant raiding her father's store, among others.

When you approached Starbucks for a coffee, you almost collided with someone, and as you looked up, it was no other than Isabella. Charles's ex.

She looked you up and down, clearly remembering you. "Well, would you look at that? This is the new one I told you about", she said to her posse, and they giggled.

"This? You're telling me that Charles is dating this?" her friend said, and you and Sofia exchange a gaze.

"Yes, apparently. But don't worry. As soon as he realizes that that isn't good enough for him, he will come crawling right back to me", Isabella said, giving you a dirty look.

Sofia snorted, amused. "Wow, you really are as conceited as I thought you would be." She stood closer to Isabella, since she was almost as tall as Isabella. "Let me tell you one thing, starveling, just stay away from my girl here, and it would be best if you would from Charles, too. He is with her now, and he is as happy as he can be."

Isabella lost her face for a millisecond before she smirked at Sofia. "And what if I don't?"

Sofia snorted again. "If I see you near Y/N, I'll promise you, you won't recognize your face in a mirror for a long time."

Isabella and Sofia gave each other an eye duel before Isabella turned around and walked away with her posse.

"You know, you don't have to defend me, right? I'm more than capable of doing that myself."

Sofia chuckled. "I know, but little Miss My-Daddy-paid-for-my-modeling-career doesn't need to know that for now, does she?"

You and Sofia looked at each other and then laughed. "You're right."

As you and Sofia walked through the bustling paddock during Monaco Raceweek, your excitement was palpable. The atmosphere was electrifying, with the sounds of engines and the energy of the racing world surrounding them. The VIP and Ferrari pass that Charles had given them made you feel both special and a bit nervous, being amidst all the action.

As you turned a corner, they spotted Pierre chatting with some of the team members near the Scuderia Ferrari garage. He was wearing his Alpine Shirt. You exchanged a quick glance with Sofia, who offered a reassuring smile.

Pierre turned and noticed the two familiar faces approaching him. His eyes widened in surprise, and then a warm grin spread across his face. "Well, well, look who we have here!" he exclaimed, giving you and Sofia a playful wink.

You smiled back, relieved by Pierre's friendly greeting. "Hey, Pierre! It's great to see you again."

Sofia chimed in, "We're so excited to be at the Monaco Grand Prix. This whole experience is unbelievable."

Pierre gestured towards the garage, his excitement evident. "Welcome to the heart of Formula 1, ladies. It's the most prestigious race of the season, and it's going to be one hell of a weekend."

As they chatted, you noticed Charles making his way toward you, and your heart fluttered with excitement. He looked dashing in his Ferrari team attire, and your smile grew even wider. Charles gave Pierre a nod of acknowledgment before his gaze locked onto yours.

"Hey," Charles said warmly, pressing a gentle kiss on your cheek. "I see you've met Pierre again." He winked at his best friend, knowing well of your past playful banter.

You laughed, feeling more at ease with Pierre around. "Yes, and he's been showing us around the paddock. It's incredible!"

"Wait till you see the race," Charles said, a sparkle in his eyes. "It's going to be something else."

Pierre, ever the teasing friend, leaned in and grinned. "So, Charles, you didn't tell me you had such beautiful company joining us today."

Charles rolled his eyes but chuckled. "You know Y/N, and you know Sofia. They're here to enjoy the race."

Pierre raised his hands in mock defense. "I'm just saying, it's not every day we have two stunning ladies on the paddock."

Sofia laughed at the playful banter between the two friends while you blushed, feeling both flattered and a little bashful. You knew that Pierre was teasing, since you also knew that a lot of celebrities are attending the Formula 1 races, especially in Monaco.

As the day at the paddock drew to a close, it was time for you and Sofia to bid farewell to Pierre. You exchanged warm hugs and promises to catch up again soon. After Pierre left, Charles led them to the prestigious Ferrari motorhome, an exclusive area where the team members relaxed and strategized during the race weekend.

"Welcome to our humble abode," Charles said with a grin, gesturing toward the impressive motorhome.

You and Sofia stepped inside, your eyes widening in awe at the luxurious interior. Charles introduced you to some of the Ferrari team members, who greeted you warmly. Then, he led you to meet Carlos Sainz, his teammate.

"Hey, Carlos, these are some friends of mine, Y/N and Sofia," Charles said, smiling.

Carlos shook your hands with a friendly smile. "Nice to meet you both. I see Charles wanted you to have the supreme package."

You chuckled. "Oh, he's certainly not shy about it."

Sofia laughed, playfully nudging you. "And she's not shy about teasing him either. It's great to meet you, Carlos."

Carlos and Sofia seemed to hit it off immediately, engaging in lively conversation about the race, their experiences, and their interests outside of Formula 1. You couldn't help but smirk as you noticed the ease with which they connected.

Charles looked on, amused by the interaction between his teammate and Sofia. "Looks like you two are getting along well," he remarked.

Carlos nodded, grinning. "Yeah, Sofia is fun to talk to. You've got good taste in friends, Charles."

"Hey, I know," Charles replied with a playful wink, looking at you.

As the evening progressed, you and Sofia enjoyed spending time with the Ferrari team, soaking in the atmosphere of camaraderie and excitement. You were treated to a delicious snack and even got to see the team strategizing and preparing for the upcoming race.

As it was getting later, Charles walked up to you while Sofia was once again talking to Carlos.

"So... What do you say? Want to come over tonight?" he asked, and you looked at him a little surprised.

Before you could answer something, Sofia ran up to her. "OMG, Y/N, Carlos asked me out to dinner. You don't mind, do you?" she asked, and you looked at her.

"Of course not! Have fun!", you said and pushed Sofia in Carlos's direction. The two were talking and then said their goodbyes.

"So, does that mean you have time?" Charles asked, and you smiled.

"Apparently, I do."

Charles smiled and walked out of the paddock with you, leading you to his car. You were photographed as you left the paddock, and you tried to lower your head as best as you could. Charles led you to his car, and then you drove to his apartment.

As you entered, Charles put his things down and looked at you. "So, what do you wanna do?"

You smiled and looked around in his living room, especially at the big TV. You grinned at Charles, and he understood.

"Movie night it is", he smiled. He walked over to his room. "Do you want something more comfortable to wear?" he asked you from the bedroom.

"Oh, that would be great", you answered, and he stood in the door with some short sweatpants and a shirt. You took them and smiled at him.

"You can change in there. I'll put on something more comfortable as well", he said, pointing at the clothes in his hands as he made his way to the bathroom.

You went into his bedroom, changing into more comfortable clothes. You put her hair in a messy bun and decided to remove your makeup. Since you felt that comfortable with Charles, you didn't care.

As you stepped out of the bedroom again, Charles was already lighting some candles and his cozy living room, dimly lit by the soft glow of flickering candles strategically placed around the room. The evening sun has set, and the darkness outside is met with the warm ambiance inside.

Then you heard a popping coming from the kitchen when you smiled at Charles. "I see, you are prepared" you grinned, and he nodded.

"Hey, no movie without popcorn", he smiled, and then he realized that you were purely natural now, with no make-up and your hair in a messy bun. And he loved it.

He finished preparing the popcorn before hopping onto the couch and patting next to himself to invite you to sit with him. You smiled and sat down next to him as he spread a blanket over you.

"So, what movie should we watch?" Charles asked, looking at you with a playful grin.

Your face lit up with excitement, and you couldn't hide your enthusiasm for fantasy movies. "Oh, there are so many great ones to choose from! How about 'Lord of the Rings'? Or 'Harry Potter'? Or maybe 'The Chronicles of Narnia'?"

Charles chuckled, realizing that you had a vast selection of fantasy movies to choose from. "You really love your fantasy, don't you?" he teased.

You nodded eagerly, "Absolutely! I love the magical worlds and the epic adventures. It's like escaping to another realm."

Charles chuckled and looked at you with adoration, as you were already dipping into a different world. "Which one is your favorite?"

You looked at him, blushing. "Well, my all-time favorite is still Y/F/M, I guess", you said shyly, and he got up from the couch, and to your surprise, he put it in.

"Y/F/M it is", he said and sat back down.

You smiled warmly at him and then cuddled closer to him so that your bodies touched. As the movie went on, you got closer and closer to each other so that when the movie was almost finished, Charles had his arm around your back, softly caressing the skin on your back, as your shirt slid up a little and you had your head on his chest and one leg over his, breathing in his scent.

As the movie night comes to an end, you and Charles find yourselves wrapped in each other's embrace, still feeling the excitement and emotions of the films you watched. The closeness you shared during the movie has intensified your feelings for each other, and the atmosphere in the room becomes charged with undeniable chemistry.

Your lips meet in a passionate kiss, and you both feel the spark between you grow stronger. Your hands gently explore each other's bodies, and your hearts race with desire. However, amidst the passion, your voice breaks the moment.

"Charles," you whispers, your breath slightly uneven. "I... I'm not ready to take this step yet."

Charles stops immediately, understanding the importance of your words. He pulls back, looking into your eyes with genuine care and respect. "Y/N, I completely understand. We don't have to rush anything. I want to be with you, but only when you're ready."

You smiled gratefully, feeling a wave of relief wash over you. You appreciated Charles's understanding and the fact that he respected your boundaries. "Thank you, Charles. I really care about you, and I don't want to ruin what we have by rushing things."

Charles caressed your cheek tenderly, "You won't ruin anything. I'm here for you, and I want to take things at your pace. We'll always communicate openly and honestly about what we're comfortable with."

You pushed yourself up a little and gave him another tender kiss. "You are just the perfect gentleman, aren't you?"

Charles chuckled. "What can I say? My Mom had some strong opinions when it came to her parenting."

You smiled. "And what about your dad?" You noticed an immediate shift in his demeanor, and your smile faded. "Sorry, I didn't mean to overstep."

"You didn't", Charles said softly, smiling at you with a sad smile. "It's just that my Dad died a few years ago. He was really sick and well..." Charles sighed. "He is the reason I am what I am now."

You looked at Charles and caressed his chest, comforting him. "I'm sorry about your Dad, Charles."

"It's okay... Well, it was hard, but we managed." He cleared his throat and pulled you a little closer. "What about your family? I never asked. How are they feeling about you, being gone for so long?"

You chuckled. "Well, I'm really close to my Mom. It was always us two against the world." You averted your gaze slightly and pressed your lips together. "My Dad... Well, let's just say he's gone for a long time."

Charles realized that you didn't want to talk about it further and accepted it. "So, do you wanna watch another one or head to bed?" he asked instead.

You looked at your phone for the time and then stood up slowly. You stretched out your hand to Charles to pull him to his feet. "Bed it is. You have a tough day tomorrow, Mr."

Charles laughed and stood up as well. You put out all the candles and the electronics before heading to bed. You snuggled up to Charles as he opened his arms warmly for you. You could hear his heartbeat and just felt comfortable.

As you lay in each other's arms, Charles took a deep breath, gathering the courage to ask the question that's been on his mind. He looked into your eyes, a mix of vulnerability and hope in his gaze.

"Y/N, I've been thinking a lot about us, about where this is going," he began softly. "And I know it's still early, but I can't help but wonder what you see for us in the future."

Your heart skipped a beat at his question, and you appreciated his willingness to discuss your relationship openly. You took a moment to gather your thoughts, wanting to be honest with him.

"I've been thinking about it too," you admitted, your voice steady. "And I have to be honest with you, Charles. When we started this whole thing, I wasn't looking for anything serious. I wasn't prepared for the way I'm feeling about you now."

Charles nodded, understanding where you were coming from. "I felt the same way, to be honest. I never expected to fall for someone that quickly, especially with my career and everything that comes with it. But being with you has changed everything, Y/N. You've become such an important part of my life."

You smiled softly, feeling a warmth in your heart. "You're important to me too, Charles. That's why I'm worried about how all of this will work out. Your career is incredible, and I don't want to be the reason you miss out on anything."

He took her hand, gently intertwining your fingers. "Y/N, you're not holding me back. I want to be with you, no matter what. Yes, my career can be demanding, and there will be challenges, but I believe we can face them together."

You looked into his eyes, seeing the sincerity and love in his gaze. "I want to be with you, too," you said softly. "But I'm just scared of how it might change things."

Charles nodded, understanding your fears. "It's natural to be scared, Y/N. But we don't have to figure it all out right now. Let's take it one step at a time, enjoy being together, and see where life takes us. And if at any point you feel overwhelmed or unsure, we'll talk about it, okay?"

Your heart swelled with love for this understanding man. "Okay," you replied, a small smile forming on your lips. "I'd like that."

He leaned in, planting a soft kiss on your forehead. "Good, because I really care about you, Y/N. And I want to be there for you, no matter what."

You cuddled closer, feeling a sense of peace wash over you.

#Charles Leclerc #Charles Leclerc x Reader #Charles Leclerc Fanfic #Formula 1 x reader #Formula 1 #Charles Leclerc Romance #Formula 1 Romance #Ordinary x Celebrity #Celebrity relationship #Racing Hearts #Kim writes again

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informaltorching · 4 months ago

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👁, 🌊, ✨, 🌲,⚡for vesper :3

You weren't lying about the shotgun blast. 👁️ - How do other people perceive this oc? How close do their first assumptions come to the truth? Vesper is like 80% what you see is what you get. I think you even told me in your notes that Owen's first impression of Vesper was something along the lines of "big, scary strong guy, could be useful to befriend". Which yeah. He is definitely those things. The majority of others perceive Vesper as a more reclusive, miserable fuck. Not really wrong. He is extremely upfront about who he is and how he feels in general. The other 20% I would say is the bit he doesn't really share with others. It isn't so much that Vesper puts up a front or masks. He just genuinely tends to be guarded and very few get access to what it is like when he relaxes. Which is definitely much more gentle and playful. And at least from how SPCs in our chronicle treat him, I don't think many really perceive him that way - just callous and bloodthirsty.

🌊 - Does this oc have a secret or repressed desire? The not-so-secret secret that he lusts for diablerie? The not-so-secret secret that he is simmering in internalized homophobia and it will never really occur to him that no one gives a fuck that he is bisexual? You can kind of see in real time when he has intrusive thoughts about drinking from his friends. Bat of the eyes and the softest, smallest shake of the head - gotta snap out of it.

✨ - Tell something that makes this oc feel happy! Accomplishment. That is a high he chases. But those highs are rather short-lived and he has to keep the tasks coming in to sustain. Helping others is the other thing. It makes him dread what he is a little less. If he feels like he can be put to use for a good cause, it helps him stay afloat.

(In our recent session where he helped Owen reunite with their sister, he was pretty ecstatic. The little hug they gave him definitely made it all worth it. ) 🌲 - Do they have a favorite location to hang out in?

His smoke spots. Grimy bars with live music. In Amare's office, sitting on her desk and fiddling with her stuff. Rocky beaches. Anywhere he isn't supposed to be. Near / on lighthouses. Big fan of 'small and cozy' as well. Being around rich, lavish, and over the top is boring to him. He has seen it way too often.

⚡ - Does this oc have any unusual or “irrational” fears?

It is so hard to say the majority of his fears are unusual or irrational when I know damn well something crazy happens to this motherfucker everyday. I think if we are using the term "irrational" then, I think his fear of facing his father. He should believe him to be dead and is in another country (as far as he is aware). It has been years. But it still shakes him up pretty bad.

#thanks boss

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merwynpersonalhub · 3 months ago

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yooo i get my own tag bedewjbhb now watch me abuse my percieved popularity (dangers of being a matt kinnie ig)

the bar that mace works in, what's it like? appearacnce, smell, athmosphere, ect? (most important question, this one, the others not so much)

are there any regulars aside from tom (and any that mace is sick to death of lmao)? how about any other coworkers aside from jon? (u dont have to make anyone up if u dont want you can just toss out a character gimmik ill draw them or sumn). and finally what's the pay like?

(...me blatantly figuring out a setup for our ocs to meet)

MATT?? HI IM EDD/GEN FHDHDJ HOLY FUCK hello other matt in the wild/pos also god damn it matt/silly

The bar mace works at is pretttty nice, its not fancy but its not like.. a run down one where you worry about if your going to die or not. I say the atmosphere is like..somewhat cozy at least! The appearance is pretty clean, lots of booths, a sitting bar as well, mace cleans the fuck out of the space (like to think jon calls mace a clean freak sometimes as a joke) so like.. think of a clean, easy to tell the workers actually do like their job, type of place. (Tbh now that i think of it... did they even have a kitchen?... fuck it they have a kitchen)

There a few customers that really grinds his gears which is those who hassles him and his co-workers for free drinks or whatnot and just rude ass people. But mace always sorta handles it quickly bc he is a aggressive mother fucker and will toss you out lmao.

But regulars... i think maybe tom and eduardo. Eduardo goes to see if jon is alright (my hc eduardo at least) maybe tord for a lil bit of time if your talking canon characters. If not then theres a few who come back often and mace and them usually chat!

I dont know if my friend still has lynn working there. But @lynniezdoodles at least used to have a oc that worked at the bar! (If i remember there was another person?? but i cannot for the life of me remember) tbh they could never have enough i dont think lmao- servers, more bartenders, cooks, etcetc

Mace works there a small bit out of the week since he works at a bunch of places, but i do think the pay is like.. sorta good, st least. If it helps him and his mayline stay afloat it can help ya afloat i think

#merwyn answers #number one mace fan tag #FHDHDH i had to think about this holy fuck hdjd THATS GOOD THO JDJX #btw mace does work at like..that diner where honey? works and ither stuff too he works a fuck ton lol

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prpfz · 7 months ago

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🏔️ 23 F here🏔️! I'm hunting down Until Dawn roleplayers where I can main Josh Washington or Matt Taylor! This remaster got me engrossed to explore the gang character development in horror settings, preferably in the canon universe. Maybe practice his mindset abit. Don't worry, I won't turn down AUs as long we get to have fun in other genres like drama, angst ,or romance.

Dark themes are encouraged! I'm desperate to write mind-break/ manipulation with Josh. We can privately discuss NSFW kinks.

About me: I write 2-3 paragraphs (roughly 300), most of it depends on mood. Bear with me, I try to write what's essential to our storylines. I accept Canon x Canon / OC x Canon regardless of gender. Don't ghost, please spam me for any HCS, TikToks, Rambles to keep our interactions afloat it helps me stay hooked in our roleplay.

Can't wait to meet you !

give a like and anon will get back to you

#oc roleplay #oc rp #until dawn roleplay #until dawn rp #fandom rp #fandom roleplay

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novastaar · 10 months ago

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*casually drops an OC from a show made for toddlers*

This is Trixie, a silly fennec fox desert ecologist from the Sahara! (LOTS of lore under the cut)

Her first experience with the Octonauts was when she was woken up by Kwazii after he'd gotten lost in the Sahara desert. She gave him directions to a nearby oasis, where he was found and picked up by the other Octonauts. She had refused to step out of her territory, though, how strange...

Her next encounter with the Octonauts was in the Arctic (A fennec fox? In the Arctic? How could that have happened?). Barnacles found her freezing and trying to stay afloat on a floating chunk of ice and brought her back to the octopod, where Peso took care of her for a while, as she'd been in very bad condition.

They still didn't know how she got to the Arctic, though. And she wouldn't tell them...

After helping out on a few missions (sometimes against Peso's direct orders) the crew dubbed her an official Octonaut. She wasn't a very strong swimmer, but she more than pulled her weight, despite being the youngest on the team (she's like 18 years old and living on her own somehow).

After a while, though, she became an octo agent and went back to live in the Sahara. This was mostly because the constant traveling messed up her sleep schedule really bad (and she's nocturnal, so she probably got less than an hour of sleep each night) and she fell asleep during missions from time to time.

I'm definitely planning on making more stuff about Trixie in the future, so let me know if you want to see more of her on my account so you can learn about her (probably traumatic VERY NORMAL) past!

#octonauts #octonauts oc #oc #oc art #oc lore #lore #trixie is a silly bean #she gets literally zero sleep #but she refuses to ask for help with anything #she's as bad as barnacles

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solomams · 6 months ago

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Hello dearest Lupe~

For the OC ask game, I would like to submit 3, 29, and 32 because I must know these things about Paula right now! Or you know when you get to it lol.

Thank you and I hope you’re having a lovely day! 💕💕

HI CC !!! ehehehe MY FIRST ASK (BECAUSE I DIDN'T HAVE IT OPEN BEFORE APPARENTLY I'M SORRYYY)

3. Do they have a weapon of choice? any particular reason they chose their weapon?

BOW AND ARROW !!! Or like, anything sharp you can throw. I feel like despite her glasses, her aim is really accurate it's scary. But she likes long range one's because it gives her time to run away, and it makes her feel safer. Hide somewhere and then make your shot !! y'know?

In my royalty AU's, I find it funny to give her hair pins that double as weapons ajdjwj

maybe it's also the fact that she's pretty non-confrontational

29. Are they associated with any particular element (air, earth, fire, water)?

See, I've always gravitated towards water !! Always !! Because it's blue, and that's her favorite color, and it can also go into ice ?? But. Paula can't swim *insert yeahok emoji* She just never learned how. I mean yeah she can stay afloat, but if you take her into a deeper part of the pool/water she might yell at you and freak out. Please hold her hand or give her a pool tube

32. do they have any habits that aren't particularly self-destructive, just maybe odd?

I'm trying so hard to think, because everything i come up with doesn't feel like a habit aksjwj

If you give her something, she might start throwing it back and forth between her hands, even if it's sharp

She hatessss carrying around large coats so she'd rather freeze. Because once you get inside and you take it off, you have to lug it around !! Layers are also just iffy in general to her. Sometimes if it's really really cold, or she knows she won't have to take it off, THEN she'll wear it. Otherwise, once Mammon figures out his habit, he is forcibly bundling her up. He'll carry the coat for her, and grumble about it, but it's better that than dealing with a sick Paula

She will go to great lengths to avoid talking to strangers. She'll take the long way around instead of saying "excuse me". Unless it's like- the only way. Then she has to mentally hype herself up in the corner

She can't hold eye contact? Not well at least. Once she gets close to someone, it's easier. But sometimes she'll just end up staring and zoning out without realizing... Her rbf doesn't help

thank you cc!! It's good to see you YAY

#star gets asked !!#moots <3 #oc ask game #mc paula #YIPPEE MY FIRST ASK

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gouraminnow · 5 months ago

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WIP game!

rules: make a new post with the names of all the files in your wip folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Tag as many people as you have wips. People send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, then post a little snippet or tell them something about it!

---

I prefer Read-mores just so things are more readable hsdfdsf

Tagged by my friend @hannahbarberra162 thank you!!! Heehee! All but one of the published ones are still on chapter one... I do not write fast :') Honestly, the one person I'm comfortable tagging is the one who tagged me, soo... breaking the rules already lol. Anybody who sees this and wants to, please do! (It's not bc I have problems with anyone, she's just the only one I talk to regularly. I'm kinda new to this lol)

No Rest For the Wicked - Yandere modern serial killer Sabo/Koala x Goth reader. (Literal hurt/comfort. Stalking implied, murder is gonna happen. Was meant to be a one-shot debut of sorts on Halloween, but it got too long...)

You're a goth student at a small university, and someone you thought was your friend lures you into a Carrie-style Halloween prank- But it goes wrong and the bucket they drop cracks your head open. Luckily, the Grad Student Instructor and his partner happen to be there and are awfully eager to help you out.

Galley on 4th - Yandere Modern (but with dfs eventually) Thatch x reader. (Also hurt/comfort. Gonna get increasingly sketchy as time goes on. Stalkng. Maybe smut? Omg nooo hot chef don't intrude on my life and insist on caring for me noooo)

Birds of a Feather - Marco & OC (entirely platonic. Hurt at the start, comfort, tooth-rotting fluff. Has artwork for it!)

Marco the Phoenix is found by an orphaned harpy child that mistakes him for one of their own kind. It takes less than a day to commit to adoption- he really is taking after his father.

Unpublished:

Bleeding Heart - What was meant to be one fic for my self-insert OC has splintered into several snippets. Born with CAVC, they thought they were lucky to receive corrective surgery as a child, only for that surgery to be botched. They now have to use the blood-blood fruit- a devil fruit with countless horrific urban legends attributed to it- to compensate for their faulty heart by manually managing their blood flow in secret. Very grumpy and easily overwhelmed bc who wouldn't be in their situation? One version they go with the WBP and in another, with the Strawhats.

Untitled Whitey Bay oneshot- sweet, smutty f/f oneshot that ends in reader eloping to a life on the seas. Reader is a lonely, wistful barmaid who dreams of something more exciting than waiting tables in a dingy bar. One day, a striking lady pirate docks on your island, stopping by your bar... and just your luck, the tall, blue-haired woman seems just as interested in you as you are in her.

Untitled Isekai idea- Reader is brought to the world of OP by a devil-fruit reader with portal-related powers. He's a self-proclaimed mad genius but is actually a jackass wannabe-Ceasar who piggybacks off of the works of others- even utilizing his ability to hopefully grab something useful from other realms rather than making shit himself. But it's random most of the time... cue reader.

Untitled dark Thatch oneshot- honestly not sure if I want to post this when it's done. Non/dubcon. Yandere Thatch finds a promising little chef and lays on the charm, but they won't leave with him. Months later, he finds them cowering in the Galley of a Marine ship and assumes they're in bed with the enemy. Unaware that they were forced to work there and too amped up to listen, he steals them away like he wanted to on that damn island. Meaner than what I tend to go for, but ends with him doting on them. Very unsure abt this hfdsfg

Yandere Nami idea

Second set of ASI hcs, but centered around Marco

I want to elaborate on the Crocodile x Selkie reader idea

#tag game #ouueegh I wish I could write More Faster #Thank you!

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krys-in-the-playhouse · 7 months ago

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[Profile] Ophelia of Revaire - IkeSen OC

Full Name: Ophelia of Revaire Preferred Pronouns: She/Her Age: Mid-Late 20s Appearance: Average height, slim build, before coming to the Sengoku, she kept her hair very close to her head with a crown braid. After joining up with Kennyo, she cut it short to just below her chin. Her hair is white, can appear very light blonde in some lights. Has beauty mark on her chin. Pale skin. Eyes: Red, like Nobunaga's eyes

Birthday: March 13th Main Suitor: Kennyo Special Interests: Sewing, Gardening Signature Colors: Red and Black

-Like Houki before her, Ophelia was originally a Seven Kingdoms: A Princess Problem MC. The basic premise of the game is that you are sending your MC to a diplomatic summit meeting to form alliances with the other countries. Whether those relationships are political or romantic (or a secret third option) in nature happen through choices and stat raising within the game. At the beginning, you go through dialogue choices that let you choose your character's base nature, intelligence, how pretty they're perceived to be, how charismatic they are, etc. Then, you are given a basic background based on the stats your character has the most points in.

-For Ophelia, she was my third MC build in the game after Houki and another MC that I didn't develop as much. I had mostly figured how the game worked and flowed at that point, so I wanted to play around with some of the other stats and what the other backgrounds were like. I also had played two relatively good-natured girls with Houki and my other MC up to that point, so I wanted to see about some of the… let's say darker routes the game could take (as if Houki getting poisoned and almost killed a few times wasn't dark enough, lol).

-Ophelia's base background is called An Ambitious Widow. Set against the political turmoil going on in her homeland of Revaire, Ophelia comes from a poor noble family that puts on the image of wealth when they don't actually have that much, often going into debt to keep up appearances. As the eldest daughter, she social-climbed as much as she could to keep the family afloat. When she was considered old enough, she was married off to a man old enough to be her grandfather. She had no strong feelings towards the old man either way, so long as her family was okay, she would do almost anything.

-The marriage lasts for about a year before her husband mysteriously dies. Ophelia had no hand in his demise, but the rumors surrounding his death didn't do her any favors. And when her family came to her in need again, she takes up her social-climbing ways once again, her sights now set on this Summit meeting, hoping to remarry once again, only this time she wants to aim for someone with more money, maybe someone of royal status so that her family doesn't have to worry anymore.

-That plan goes right out the window once she gets wormholed, ah geez…

-This part is still a little fuzzy for me that I might clarify it at a later date and I need to redo Kennyo's route to remember some of the events that happen in it, but Ophelia's story from here loosely follows his route from this point on. She helps out Nobunaga initially, but afterwards, the two get along like oil and water that's on fire, eventually leading her to running away from him, running into Kennyo and she chooses to stay with the monk, not wanting anything to do with the Oda Forces anymore.

-With Kennyo is where she begins her healing journey, away from the politics and toxicity of home. She's allowed to be herself and to let the wounds of the past staunch and scab over, finally growing to trust others again. She picks up her old hobbies of sewing and gardening again and spends her days teasing Kennyo and Ranmaru gently, when she sees them.

-Ophelia is also in a weird place for me in that I don't have any major plans for her future as I do with Houki and Clara. At most, she wants to see if her family is okay, to at least know the fate of her younger siblings, but it's probably for the best that she's away from that toxic environment. If nothing else major happens in IkeSen, she'll probably continue as she is with Kennyo and Ranmaru.

Some other fun facts:

-Ophelia is the eldest of nine siblings, six younger sisters and two younger brothers. She and her sisters are named after Shakespearean ladies because I wanted a theme and since Ophelia was named after a Shakespearean tragic lady, her sisters were named in a similar manner.

-Ophelia and her siblings in order:

Ophelia (eldest daughter) Sister #1-Cordelia Sister #2-Rosalind Sister #3-Portia Nicolai (Brother #1) Sisters #4 and 5-Bianca and Beatrice (Twins) Frederick (Brother #2) Viola (The Baby and Sister #6)

-Other suitors for consideration: Shingen. He's too smart for his own good and she admires his intelligence and charisma. And they're both notorious Nobu haters, so they would get along in that aspect. He's too flirty for her, personally, however, thus why they're not together. He's also dying secretly and her world doesn't have the technology to save him like MC's world does. Even if she could take him back home, she couldn't cure him of his illness and she doesn't deserve having a second husband suddenly dying on her, this OC parent isn't that cruel (but damn wouldn't that make for some delicious drama?)

I can see her getting along with Kicho too, but since his route and motives balance on a world and history she wasn't a part of, it's a little harder to gauge how they would get along based on that.

-Not that it would be relevant in any stories in IkeSen between her and any suitor, but I've made the executive decision to have her be infertile, as a mercy to her because of her first marriage. She also has a little trauma from seeing her mother withering away from her and all her younger siblings. Her mother was happy about each and all of her children, blissfully so, but Ophelia saw it a little differently with so many mouths to feed, an appearance to uphold, not to mention the Revaire of her childhood was… not a good place to be, especially depending on if you supported the old royalty or the new one.

-The suitor I had for her in the original Seven Kingdoms game (now completed! It's on itch.io in early access!) rekindled her love for gardening. The suitor, Emmett, was a sweet soul that loves travel and just loves animals and all kinds of plants. The two had been walking together and he was pointing out various plants to her, telling her their names and interesting things about them. Ophelia, having spent the majority of her years clout-chasing, admired this chatty young man because he was so unabashedly himself, and so kind and gentle. They grew closer with their time at the Summit, becoming friends despite Ophelia wanting to keep him at arm's length. She's supposed to be here to marry a rich nobleman or a prince and gain as many political allies as she could… yet his kindness and sweet personality kept winning her over. I think, when she is worm-holed and is on her healing journey, she takes up gardening in his honor, to the first person that really showed her kindness that wasn't family or wanting something out of her.

-Though it wasn't intentional with the birthday randomizer putting her in March, it makes a lot of symbolic sense. It's a transitional month between winter and spring, thus symbolizing her narrative journey of new beginnings after the cold. Even in-game, winter symbolism was tied a bit to the Widow. In a conversation over dinner with Clarmont (another suitor also from Revaire), the Widow MC tells a story from her childhood, when she and her sister watched their first snowfall together. She recalls it as the last moment she can remember feeling truly innocent and at peace with herself, before things started going to hell. Even Ophelia's inspo playlist is titled 'Even winter must come to an end…'

#profile #ikesen oc #ophelia of revaire (oc)#Spotify

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wake-me-up-inside-imagines · 10 months ago

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Could you write something angst-y again about your characters Leo, Micah and Rain? It's mostly up to you, but maybe something about Leo struggling with self harm in secret, but his partners notice and comfort him?

And btw i really love stories and headcanons about your ocs, i like the way you write each character's actions/personality ^^

Aww than you so much, and sure thing! This was something I was meaning to write anyway, so I hope you enjoy!

Also, this is not going to be a happy story. There's definitely comfort, don't get me wrong, but it's not going to end super happy. I wrote this to be a prequel to a series I have running on ao3 (not sure if you're someone who came from my ao3 or not, but if you're not, it's called You Know These Beautiful Thoughts You Always Think?), so it's not going to really result in full comfort/mental improvement in this specific fic.

Also also, just want to make this clear: DO NOT DO WHAT LEO DOES. This is meant to display how not ok he is, his mindset is not healthy in the slightest. Please do not believe that recovery isn't possible like Leo does, because it is, and it's worth it. Just don't replicate any of this at all. If you're struggling with self-harm, please get help, it's worth getting better.

READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. HEED THE TRIGGER WARNINGS, IT IS NOT ON ME IF YOU IGNORE THEM.

With that, I hope you enjoy!

Is a the Relief Worth The Deception?

Crossposted on my ao3

TW: Graphic depictions of self-harm, razor blades, extremely unhealthy mindsets, Suicide mentions, anxiety, self-hatred, panic attacks, mentions of dysphoria, blood and gore, kinda dead dove: do not eatish, non-sexual nudity, not so happy ending. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

Word count: 11,182

Divider credit goes to @cafekitsune

Sometimes, Leo felt like he was drowning.

Overwhelming emotions often swirled inside of him, creating a typhoon of self-hatred and overwhelming despair that filled him until he felt he would burst at the seams. Everything would become too much, whether it be the largest of problems or the smallest of inconveniences. His mind was flooded with endless tragedies, reminders of his shortcomings in practically every field of life, his thoughts becoming sharp winds battering at the sides of his skull until the pressure was almost too much.

Leo was frequently overcome by such moments. The floodgates of his failures, his flaws, would open up, and he would begin sinking, the swirling waters only serving to drag him down the longer he struggled to stay afloat.

But he had a saving grace. A life vest that not only helped keep him afloat, but also released the water from his being, relieving the pressure his thoughts created within the body that wasn't big enough to contain all the pain.

Ordinarily, metal would sink, bringing anyone unfortunate enough to cling to it under. But in the torrents of Leo's mind, it floated.

It wasn't a perfect solution by any means. It kept him afloat, but the marks it left behind remained for a long time, a stinging pain that hurt long after Leo had needed them to. Oftentimes, the marks were far from disappearing by the time Leo needed to use it again, creating even more marks, until the entirety of his lower chest was covered in them, red and angry and scabbing up in itchy lines. And then, of course, there were his boyfriends, who certainly wouldn't approve of Leo's method of coping, if they were to find out. Although the marks were often hidden from view, covered by the fabric of Leo's clothes, it was hard to keep them a secret when Rain was so touchy, and Micah was so observant, and fuck, their hands are getting a little too close to his marks for comfort-

But it was fine. He'd find a way to keep them hidden. He could fake his way through it, really, he could. He'd survive. He'd gotten this far. He'd gone this many years using such a solution, he saw no reason to stop now. He couldn't get better, he knew this well, but he didn't need to. He was fine. Nobody would find out.

Until they did.

He wasn't sure why it had been such a rough day, he really didn't. Nothing went wrong, everything had been fine, so why did his brain decide that now would be the time to relentlessly torment him?

His past mistakes were haunting him, dragging him down into the deep murky depths of his self-hatred. It didn't matter that he had changed, it didn't matter that he'd become a different person, he was disgusting, and always would be. He was a terrible individual, one who wasn't deserving of a good life. He didn't deserve his boyfriends, or his friends, or his family, or any of the blessings he'd been gifted with. He was a disgrace of a human, the lowest of the low, a person with absolutely no worth in any regard. It didn't matter how hard he tried to be better, because at the end of the day, he would always be the same person as before. He wasn't worthy of love.

He gasped for air, but there was nothing there. He was drowning again.

His skin was crawling, itching. He needed to calm the storm, he needed to let the pressure out. He needed release.

His boyfriends had come over earlier. They were still there, sleeping peacefully besides Leo, covered in his blankets as they rested on his bed. It was late, way too late for Leo to be awake, and way too late for these kinds of thoughts to be beating against his skull. But they were there anyway, oblivious to the time, leaving Leo to struggle desperately against the waves of his mind while Rain and Micah slept peacefully beside him, completely unaware of anything.

Normally, Leo would never have risked coping in such a way while there were people anywhere nearby, especially not his boyfriends, but...

They were asleep. They wouldn't know, would they? All he had to do was be quiet, and nothing would go wrong.

Leo looked to his sleeping boyfriends, and then looked down at himself. Was it worth it? Was the reward worth the risk? Especially when the risk was so close?

The winds battering his skull decided that it was.

Slowly, as not to disturb Micah and Rain's sleep, Leo unwrapped Rain's arms from around his waist and clambered out of the bed, swinging his legs over the side and dropping down as silently as he could. His feet didn't make a sound as they connected with the carpeted floor, and without much hesitation, Leo stood up, sliding off the bed and making his way to the bathroom door. He'd never been more thankful to be on the outside part of the bed than he was in that moment, especially since he normally slept in between his boyfriends. He would have had to crawl over their bodies to get off the bed if that had been the case that night, but luckily for him, he had chosen to be on the outside that night. If he was going to drown, at least he'd do it when it was more convenient.

It was hard to navigate the dark room without his glasses, but Leo made due, shuffling around the blurry objects he could make out without bumping into them, successfully making it to the bathroom door. As quietly as he could, Leo shuffled his way into his bathroom, closing the door behind him at an agonizingly slow pace. Thankfully, the door made no noise as it shut, and Leo breathed a sigh of relief, flicking on the light once the door had fully shut.

His eyes roamed around the room, blinking rapidly against the harsh, unnatural lights that had flooded the bathroom. As soon as his sight adjusted, Leo tip-toed his way to his sink and bent down, his knees popping underneath him as he lowered himself to the ground. He silently grabbed the handle to the cabinet door, still careful not to make too much noise, opening them up and peering inside. A bunch of his stuff was there, a lot of it looking forgotten and unused, but Leo ignored it, instead rooting around in the back of the cabinet, sticking his hands under the cluttered objects and feeling around until his hands hit a familiar, rather large, cardboard box. Leo's fingers wrapped around the corner of the box, pulling it out from the mess of a cabinet he had, careful not to let anything else resting there fall down.

The packaging wasn't anything special, it was just a regular, average box that most shaving razors came in. The simple, unassuming design was exactly why Leo stashed his spare razor blades there. If anyone were to find it, they would just assume he had a spare shaving razor tucked away in there, in case his current one broke. Opening up the box would reveal a decent amount of blades, clean and shiny, a lot more than what should be in any one razor box.

Shaky fingers grabbed one of these razors, quickly pocketing it before closing the box and shoving it back under the sink, far away from where any wandering eyes would find it. Having found what he came for, he closed the cabinet doors, slowly stood back up, and made his way back to the bathroom door, flicking off the light and enveloping himself in darkness before opening the door back up and stepping outside. It took a moment for his eyes to begin seeing through the gloom, but once he did, he made his way to the bedroom door, his destination set firmly in his mind. He grabbed the doorknob and twisted, pushing the door open without making a creak.

Leo padded out through the doorway, his footsteps nearly soundless as he crept into the wider apartment. He couldn't use the bathroom attached to his room, he knew that. His boyfriends would surely wake up if he did, and he couldn't let that happen. He needed to avoid them waking up at all costs, lest they find out about his struggles. So, that only left one place he could hide away: Natalia's bathroom. It was just down the hall, far enough away from his bedroom for his boyfriends to remain blissfully unaware of his absence. It's a good thing Natalia wasn't there to catch him. She was at Stella's, far away from Leo and his hurricane of emotions.

Taking one last backward glance at the bedroom doorway, Leo snuck into the bathroom, his feet crossing over from wood to tile. His hand found the doorknob behind him and pulled it shut, careful to avoid slamming it loud enough for his boyfriends to hear. His feet led him to the base of the tub, his hands habitually finding the faucet's handle and twisting it as far left as it would go. Water immediately began pouring from the tap, the noise thundering in Leo's ears, and he swiftly yanked the little handle on top of the faucet to direct the water to the showerhead. The water stopped pouring from the tap, instead beginning to fall from the shower itself, the little patter's of water on the tub still audible, but far less loud than before.

Leo waited a moment, cocking his ear towards the door. He listened for what felt like minutes, on high alert, but he heard no sounds near the door. He was safe.

Breathing out a large sigh of relief, Leo began undressing, making sure to remove the razor blade from his pocket before stepping out of his sleep shorts. Once those were gone, Leo removed his boxers, and then his shirt, pulling it over and off from around his head in a swift, efficient motion. Leo didn't sleep in his binder, so he was left completely naked, his chest and lower areas exposed to the chilly apartment air. He grabbed a clean towel from under the sink, laying it gently on the floor in front of him.

Taking in a shaky breath, Leo grabbed the razor blade from where he left it on the edge of the sink, turned back towards the shower, and stepped in, careful not to hit his feet on the rim of the tub. He stood there, his back being pelted with the hot, steaming shower water, looking down at the razor blade he was holding in the palm of his hand. Was it really worth it? Was it worth doing this right now?

The itchy, nearly unbearable crawling in his skin decided it was. His body craved a release, and this was the only way to satisfy that need. He was in too deep anyway, he might as well get on with it.

Looking down at himself, Leo ignored the chest that caused him so much grief, instead focusing on the skin directly below it. There were already marks there, and even more scars underneath them, the thin white lines permanent reminders of how long he had been doing this for. The fresher marks were healed over, still red, but no longer open wounds. Leo could change that.

WIthout hesitating, Leo dragged the edge of the razor blade against his skin, splitting the area in half, deep enough that it immediately began bubbling up with blood. Leo watched, fascinated, as the crimson liquid spilled over the skin, rolled downwards and leaving a gory river behind. This was always one of Leo's favorite parts. He recognized how sick it was, but a part of him was always relaxed at the sight of his blood leaking out from his body. It was kind of beautiful, in a disgusting, twisted way.

Leo broke eye contact with the bead of blood trailing down his body, and continued on. He slashed at his skin, each new line bringing a fresh wave of blood, rolling down his naked body in red rivulets. The rivers would eventually get washed away by the shower water, but the cuts wouldn't stop bleeding for a while, more blood spilling over until the process began repeating itself. The razor blade traveled downwards, sliding across any skin that was still intact, letting out more of the sweet, crimson liquid. Leo closed his eyes. His torso had become a mess of red, bloody lines, but he didnt care, too engrossed in the stinging pain and the feeling of relief he got to notice much. It felt nice to hurt. It made him feel better, to get what he deserved.

He was so focused on the pain and pressure that he didn't hear the door opening up, nearly screaming when a voice spoke through the crack in the door.

"Leo? Dude, are you ok, it's way too late to be showering-"

Leo's head snapped to the side, his hands immediately trying to pull the shower curtain over his exposed body before Rain saw what he had been up to. It was too late though, Rain's widened eyes were already trained where the cuts had been visible only seconds ago.

Fuck. He had forgotten to lock the stupid fucking door, and now he was screwed, he really couldn't do anything right, could he-

Rain inhaled a shaky breath, his eyes never leaving the portion of the curtain now covering Leo's cuts. Leo kept his eyes trained on Rain's form, trying to read whatever emotion was on his face, but besides his wide eyes, Rain's expression was unreadable, probably due to how fuzzy his features looked to Leo's glassesless eyes. He seemed frozen in place, almost as if the sight of Leo's injuries had short circuited something in his brain.

Rain's mouth opened slowly. "Leo-"

"I'm fine." Leo snapped, his words suspiciously defensive. His hands were trembling. This was never supposed to happen, they weren't supposed to find out, what was he meant to do now? They couldn't know, they'd make him stop, or worse they'd leave him, were they going to leave him? They couldn't do that, he wouldn't recover, shit, why did he have to be such a screw up- "I just wanted to shower. Please leave."

Rain's mouth snapped shut. His eyes flicked from Leo to the curtain, and then to the rim of the tub, and then back to Leo. Leo tracked where his eyes had gone, and winced when he noticed there were a few pinkish drops of water sitting on the edge of the bath. He hadn't realized that there were bloody drops anywhere visible, there was really no way he was going to be able to play this off, was there?

Leo's eyes spotted movement, but before he could even figure out what was happening, Rain was in front of the shower, his feet tripping over the plunger Leo kept next to the front of the shower. He managed to catch himself on the wall before reaching behind the curtain and shutting the shower off with one swift flick of his wrist. His hand then moved to the curtain, trying to pull it back enough for him to see Leo, but Leo intercepted him, grabbing onto the curtain and keeping it where it was currently placed.

"Dude, what the fuck was that for?" Leo squeaked out, holding onto the shower curtain with a death grip. He hated how scared his voice sounded, he hated how it had gotten high pitched with sheer terror, he hated the ice in his veins that was forcing him to tremble, he hated that there was no way he was going to get out of this. One hand let go of the shower curtain, frantically rubbing at the cuts on his torso, but no matter how hard he scrubbed, the blood on his skin didn't disappear, only spreading further across his body and hand. The cuts continued to bleed with nothing to wash it away, which now that Leo thought about it, was probably Rain's intention in the first place. He couldn't hide what he'd done now, it was only a matter of time before he lost the battle with the curtain.

"Leo, baby, I need you to let go." Rain sounded no less panicked than Leo himself felt, although he seemed to be doing a better job at hiding it. His hands tugged incessantly at the curtain, but Leo wouldn't release it, holding it to his body like a vice. "Leo, please, I need you to get out of the shower. Just...Just let go, and step out, please."

Leo shook his head, his breathing picking up. He clutched the curtain closer to his body, his hand tightening around the razor blade still resting in his palm. He backed up, his heels hitting the back of the tub, trapping him where he was. He felt like a cornered animal. Yes, that's what he was, wasn't it? A scared, cornered animal, about to lash out at any moment. "No. I can't. I don't want to."

Rain let out a watery sigh, his eyes leaving Leo to dart around the room. He was no doubt trying to figure out how to get Leo out of the shower, but no matter what he did, Leo wasn't going to leave. Nobody could make him. He was staying right where he was until either Rain left, or he physically forced him out of the tub. He wasn't going to be exposed without a fight.

A moment of silence passed, Rain still looking around. The only noise to be heard was Leo's harsh breathing, as well as the occasional drip of water splashing against the drain. Eventually, Rain looked back towards Leo, a newfound desperation shining in his eyes. "Leo please, I need you to come out of there. I'm not mad at you, I swear I'm not, just please, let me see, let me help you-"

"I don't need help." Leo all but growled, holding the curtain impossibly closer to his chest. His chest was heaving now, tears pricking his eyes as he hyperventilated. He backed himself further into his tiny corner, his skin meeting the painfully cool wall behind him. He wanted to scream, to yell at Rain to leave until his boyfriend disappeared, but the small amount of rational thought in his mind wouldn't let him, reminding him that Rain wasn't going to hurt him, that he was only trying to help-

A strange noise left the back of Rain's throat, a mix between a cry and a moan. His eyes stayed on Leo for another moment, dark with despair and helplessness, before his head suddenly turned back towards the open door, his mouth parting wide. "Micah!"

Leo jumped at Rain's yell, shock running through his body. "Don't!" He begged, curling up closer to the corner and whisper-yelling in terror. "Don't call Micah, I don't want him to see, please, let him sleep!"

"I'm sorry, but I have to." Rain whispered briefly looking back at Leo before turning towards the door again. "MICAH!"

Leo shook violently, his breathing completely out of control. He looked for a place to hide, but there was none, not unless he wanted to run butt-naked through his apartment, and Micah would surely catch him if he did that. But this couldn't happen, Micah couldn't come in, he couldn't, he would be so mad at him, and so disgusted, he couldn't face him, he couldn't face Rain, he needed them to leave, he needed to hurt in peace, he needed to hide, he couldn't do this let him out let him out let him out let him out let him out-

The shower curtain fell from Leo's fingers. They were trembling too hard to continue holding on. The razor blade followed suit, landing on the ground with a harsh clatter, blood still clinging to its edge. Leo's knees gave out on him, his body collapsing underneath him, his back sliding down the wall. His cuts were on full display now, still bleeding, and no matter how he tried to wrap his arms around himself, there would always be wounds visible, the blood rolling down his stomach in obvious rivelets. He had to settle for curling in a little ball, his sobs echoing off the bathroom walls as he tried to hide as much of himself as possible, his knees coming up to hide the parts of his torso his arms couldn't.

Hands rested themselves on Leo's shoulders. He flinched violently, curling up closer to himself, but the hands didn't leave his body, instead moving to grab at Leo's armpits. Leo tried to fight back, squirming away as best as he could, but the hands persisted, pulling him forward until he was being half dragged, half pulled out of the tub and onto the cold tile floor. Leo gave up fighting when his body was pulled over the edge of the tub, using the last of his strength to push himself up the extra inch or two the hands couldn't seem to get him over on their own.

As soon as Leo fell over the edge, a warm body smushed itself against him, the hands pulling him up so that his shoulder was leaning against Rain's chest. Leo curled up into himself once again, sobs wracking his body as arms wrapped around his naked back, pulling him closer to Rain's own body.

"I've got you dragonfly, I've got you." Rain whispered, his own voice thick with tears. Leo felt material wrap around him, covering up his bare body as it trembled against Rain. His towel. Rain must have picked it up right after pulling Leo to him. "It's ok sweet boy, it's ok. Everything's gonna be ok, but I need you to breathe. Do you think you can do that? Breath with me, feel my chest rising and falling. Breathe baby, breathe."

Leo tried, attempting to time his breaths with the motion of Rain's chest, but he simply couldn't. Everything was too overwhelming, the fact that he had been caught never leaving his mind. He tried to suck in steady breaths, but his lungs wouldn't cooperate, his chest heaving as he tried to get any amount of air in his system. He could still feel blood dripping down his body, surely soaking into Rain's white sleep shirt by now, and the knowledge of what he had done to himself only contributed more to his panicked breathing.

"Rain? Rain? Where are you? What's going on? Is Leo with-" Micah's voice drew closer before cutting off. Leo couldn't see him, his face was buried in Rain's chest after all, but he could hear Micah's footsteps well enough to know that he had found them, and was probably standing right outside the bathroom. "Shit, what's going on? Is Leo ok? Why..." He trailed off, for what reason, Lo couldn't be sure. "Why is there blood on the floor?"

Leo could feel Rain shaking his head, turning slightly to look at their confused boyfriend. "No, he's not ok, not even a little bit. He's hurt." His head turned back to Leo. "Leo, bug?"

A small whine left Leo's lips. He was still shaking violently, his sides shaking inconsistently with each breath. He pressed himself closer to Rain, trying to hide himself as much as possible, but he knew he couldn't keep Micah from seeing him when footsteps sounded out again, going around and behind him before another warm body enveloped his back.

"Sweetheart? What's going on? Where are you hurt? Why are you hurt?" Micah asked, concern flooding his voice. He wrapped his own arms around Leo, his arms accidentally brushing against where Leo's cuts were. His arms withdrew when Leo flinched, instead moving to place his hands on Leo's curled up back. "Baby?"

The towel wrapped around Leo's body moved slightly, fingers slightly pulling at it. "Leo, can you let Micah see?"

Leo froze with shame and fear. No, no, Micah couldn't see. He couldn't be allowed to see what he'd done to himself. He clutched the towel closer to him, shaking his head in Rain's chest. He wouldn't show Micah, he couldn't.

"Please sweetheart?" Rain asked, his voice breaking. He cleared his throat, his fingers rubbing circles on Leo's back. "He's not going to be mad, I promise. We can't clean you up if we can't see where you're hurt. You need to let us help you."

Leo didn't react, but he loosened his hold on the towel, allowing Rain to tug it off of his body. It was like all the fight in him had left at once, leaving him a defeated, exhausted shell of himself. He couldn't fight them off anymore. It didn't matter anyway. Rain already knew, towel or no towel, and he would have ended up telling Micah outright if Leo had continued to refuse showing off his cuts, so really, what could he do? It didn't matter, they'd end up hating him anyways, he couldn't avoid it any longer. Might as well get it over with.

The towel was pulled off of Leo's body, slowly dragging up his skin until it had been completely removed from covering him up. His shivering grew even more intense, both due to the cold, and due to his immense fear of Micah's reaction. Micah wasn't saying anything, he wasn't making any noise at all, but Leo knew his cuts must be visible by now, with nothing left to hide them. Besides the cuts themselves, there was a lot of blood spread all across his body, not to mention the rather obvious bloodstains now soaked into Rain's previously white sleep shirt. It would have been impossible for Micah to miss what had happened now.

A shaky, sharp intake of breath sounded out from behind Leo. "Oh, baby..."

Leo crumpled into himself even more, burying his tear streaked face into Rain's shoulder. He didn't want pity. He didn't need it. He was strong, he wasn't a crybaby, he didn't need anyone else to deal with, or even see his problems.

His hands went to cover up his cuts, desperate to block them from view, the painful sting of his skin against his wounds doing nothing to help him, not like it normally did. He forced his tears back, no longer allowing himself to cry, forcing his breathing to smooth out into more deep, calming breaths. Rain's arms wrapped around him tighter, his lanky boyfriend whispering reassurances of love and safety in his ear, but Leo barely heard him, too wrapped up in his shutdown attempt to pay much attention to what was going on around him.

"Micah," Rain started, his voice barely a whisper. "There's a first aid kit under the sink in Leo's bathroom. Can you grab it?"

Micah didn't say anything, but Leo felt him hesitantly pull away, his loud footsteps thundering in his ears as Micah left the bathroom, his form growing further and further away. Leo barely paid attention to what was going on around him, he was too tired to, instead allowing his mind to drift away, to distract himself from the reality he so desperately wanted to avoid. His mind tormented him, reminding him of how pathetic he was for forgetting something as simple as a lock on a door, but he barely acknowledged his thoughts, simply accepting them as they were while he tried to wipe his mind of any emotion or thought. He hadn't even realized Micah had come back, not until he felt someone kneel down behind him.

Hands placed themselves on Leo's back and shoulder, softly tugging at him. "Leo, my dearest love, can you face forward? I need to see you a little better."

Leo complied, his joints aching slightly as he pulled away from Rain's body. The cuts that had been directly pressed against Rain's shirt tried desperately to cling to the fabric, pulling small portions of the shirt along with them, but soon had to let go, the force of Leo's movement separating them. Leo shifted so that he was facing Micah directly, forcing the most neutral look he could possibly manage onto his red, tear streaked face. He didn't look Micah in the eye, instead staring at his boyfriend's torso through half-lidded eyes.

Micah's gaze searched Leo's, seemingly unnerved by how suddenly stoic he looked, trying to find even the slightest bit of emotion on his face. When he couldn't find any, he swallowed, his eyes moving back to the gruesome, crimson cuts littering a good portion of Leo's torso. "I'm gonna clean these up now." Micah whispered gently, pulling out a wet washcloth. When had that gotten there? Did he wet it in Leo's bathroom? Did it matter? "This is gonna sting a little, ok?"

Leo suppressed a small, humorless snort. Yes, because the stinging sensation was the biggest of his concerns. It's not like he had cut himself to ribbons for that exact feeling or anything, right? "That's fine."

It looked like Micah wanted to say more, but he refrained, instead exhaling before pressing the washcloth as gently as he could to Leo's irritated skin. He was right, it did sting, but no more than it had in the shower, when water was actively pelting against the open wounds. Water droplets rolled down his stomach, slightly pink from the blood still clinging to his skin, but they were soon wiped up by the washcloth, Micah making his way down Leo's bdy in slow, steady motions. Despite the decent amount of blood coating Leo's skin, it looked like most of his injuries had stopped bleeding, save for a couple, slightly deeper ones, but even those had slowed from full on bleeding to lazy oozing, nowhere near as intense as before. Micah wiped those ones down a couple more times, his eyes drifting sadly from one cut to the next, until all the cuts had stopped bleeding, pink and puffy instead of red and puffy. Not much of an improvement, but it would do.

Once Micah had finished up, he pulled away, setting the now bloody washcloth to the side. "Are you ok?"

Leo nodded, still not looking at Micah's eyes. "Yeah."

"...Ok." Micah whispered. Leo could tell he was being cautious, walking on eggshells around Leo for his sake, but Leo knew he didn't have to. He wasn't going to break down crying again. He wouldn't. He wasn't that pathetic, although he knew his current position wasn't doing much to reaffirm that idea.

Micah reached behind him, grabbing a little red box with the first aid symbol plastered across the front. "...I need to put some disinfectant on your cuts. They'll get infected if I don't."

"I don't think they will." Leo murmured. He watched as Micah pulled some cotton balls out of the box, and then a bottle of hydrogen peroxide, uncapping the chemical and dumping some onto one of the balls. "They've never gotten infected before, I don't see why that'll change this time."

Rain sucked in a breath from behind Leo, his arms tightening around Leo's naked stomach. Oh yeah, he was naked still. He forgot about that. "This isn't...This isn't the first time you've done this?"

"No, not even close." Leo knew he sounded like an ass, like an emotionless shell, but he couldn't help it. He didn't know what else he was supposed to do. He wasn't going to let himself be any more vulnerable than he had to be, and that started by shutting off any and every emotion he was feeling, repressing everything in his brain until he no longer felt human.

Micah closed his eyes briefly, taking in a deep, long exhale before opening his eyes again, bringing the hydrogen peroxide covered ball to Leo's wounds. They stung, of course they did, but Leo barely registered the pain, instead just letting himself drift within his own mind again. He stared past Micah's shoulder, ignoring the feeling of the fluffy cotton ball running over each and every cut on his body, his eyes settling on the bright gleam of the razor blade, it's small, silver form sitting at the bottom of the tub. He could barely see it, but even with that tiny glimpse, he could feel himself being drawn to the blade, desperate for the stinging sensation only it could provide. This sting of the chemicals hurt, but not in the way he needed. No, only the blade could do that.

"Micah," Rain spoke up, nearly scaring Leo into flinching. "There's a razor blade in the bathtub. He dropped it earlier, when I called for you. Can you grab it and hide it, somewhere Leo can't see it?"

Fuck. Curse Rain and his ability to see where Leo was looking. It must have been obvious that he was transfixed by the blade from the angle his head was tilted, although he never even considered Rain would be able to track his line of vision so well. Leo averted his eyes, looking to the floor, but Micah had already begun moving, leaning backwards enough for his arm to be able to reach into the tub and pluck the blade out. He held it between his fingers, seemingly unsure of where to put it, before dropping it into his pocket, the best spot he was going to get at this moment. At the very least, Leo couldn't see it or get to it anymore, much to his disappointment.

"I don't want you looking at it anymore." Rain's lips brushed up against Leo's ear, a small whisper leaving them. "You don't need to see that."

It wasn't like Leo could've done anything with it anyway, but he didn't say that, instead continuing to look at the floor, fading out.

Hands found their way to Leo's torso, fingers just barely avoiding his fresh cuts. "We need to bandage these up." Micah murmured, trying to loo Leo in the eye. "It'll keep them clean."

Leo didn't say anything, not even when Micah continued staring at him, attempting to catch his eye. He could feel his boyfriends look at each other over his shoulder, but he didn't have enough energy to care, barely mustering up enough strength to raise his arms high enough for Micah to wrap fresh bandages around him, until a solid portion of his torso was covered with the strong material. At least his cuts weren't visible anymore.

Micah finished up, taking the roll of bandages and putting them back in the first aid box, the rest of the materials used quick to follow. He closed the box up, pushed it to the side, and without any warning, wrapped his arms around Leo and crushed him to his chest. Leo jumped with surprise, but Micah didn't loosen his hold, one hand coming up to hold the back of Leo's head closer.

"How long?" Micah whispered, his lips pressed against Leo's neck. "How long have you been doing this to yourself? There were so many scars underneath the blood, old ones and newer ones, how long have you been hurting like this without us knowing?"

Leo had stiffened up at the initial contact, but he relaxed in Micah's hold, resigning himself to his current position. He thought back, trying to do the math in his head. "Uhhh," he started, thinking hard. If he had started that one September, all those years ago, and it was currently February, then... "I mean, I started when I was thirteen, so that would mean..."

"You started when you were thirteen?!" Rain practically yelled out, completely stunned. Both Micah and Leo winced at the noise so close to their ears, but Rain paid them no mind, too wrapped up in his shock to notice. "Leo, you've been doing this for years?!" And nobody noticed? How did we not notice?!

Leo leaned his head against Micah's neck, too tired to lie. There was no point, it wouldn't help him hide this in the future, he might as well be honest. "Oh they did, I just got better at hiding it." He said, shrugging his shoulders. "I started with my arms, and then someone found out and got mad at me, so I moved to my torso. Nobody sees me without my shirt on, so it was easy to keep my cuts and scars hidden. It would have stayed hidden if I had just remembered to lock the stupid door..."

"I'm glad you didn't!" Rain cried, grief lacing his voice. "I knew something was wrong when you were gone, in the shower at this hour. All this time we've known you, and we never noticed. Lord, we're the worst, I can't believe we never figured it out, why you never take your shirt off, why you never let us see you naked-"

"It's really not a big deal," Leo cut him off, trying to sound reassuring. "It's just a couple of cuts. They heal after a bit, they aren't really even all that deep. It's not like I'm trying to kill myself, or even hurting myself where I could accidently kill myself, it's not that bad compared to other stuff I could be doing."

A stunned silence followed Leo’s words. He couldn’t see either of his boyfriend’s faces from this angle, but he was sure he had said the wrong thing, because both of their holds on his body tightened significantly.

“Leo…” Micah whispered, his voice thick with…tears? That’s weird, Micah never cried, why would he start doing so now? “You’re hurting yourself. How could that possibly not be a big deal? It doesn’t matter that the cuts aren’t lethal, you’re still in pain, and you’re still marking your body up. How could we possibly not care about what you’re doing to yourself?”

Leo stayed silent for a moment. “…I’d be in more pain if I couldn’t do it.” He settled on, his voice embarrassingly unconvincing. He knew his boyfriends wouldn’t accept that answer, if anything, it would make them even more concerned, but he didn’t know what else to say. How was he supposed to make them understand just how badly he needed to hurt? How was he meant to convey his emotions, so strong he would drown in them, unable to reach the surface without this one, small vice? It was a necessary sacrifice he had to make for stability, one he knew his boyfriends could never hope to understand, not unless they somehow ended up swapping brains.

“Why?” Rain asked, choking on his tears. A few small, wet drops landed on Leo’s shoulder. “What’s making you do this to yourself? What is making you hurt so much that the only solution is bringing yourself more pain?”

“It doesn’t really matter.” Leo responded. He wanted to wince at how uncaring he sounded, but he couldn’t find the energy to put more emotion in his voice. He didn’t want to talk about this any more, he didn’t want to acknowledge the cuts on his chest. He was done with thinking about them, the pain was no longer serving its purpose, there was no point dwelling on it any longer. He wasn't someone who was capable of getting better, so there was no point trying. He just wanted to go back to bed. "It's not going to change anytime soon, so there's no point worrying about it."

"There's no point? It doesn't matter?" Rain sounded incredulous, his voice rising in pitch with disbelief. Before Leo could respond, he was pulled backwards and around, his body being spun until he was facing Rain directly. Rain had an intense look on his face, his eyebrows furrowed with what looked to be anger, but the tears spilling from his eyes proved he wasn't angry, not really, anyway. "Baby, nothing could possibly matter more than your wellbeing. You're physically hurting yourself, and I imagine you wouldn't be doing so if you weren't mentally hurting on top of that. Something has to be going on for you to be doing this, nobody hurts themself for no reason. You are not ok right now, and instead of letting us help you, you're shutting us out."

Rain turned his head away for a second, blinking away tears. Leo wanted to reach out and wipe them away, he hated seeing his boyfriend cry, but before he could make any moves, Rain turned back toward him, hugging Leo closer and resting his lips on Leo's forehead. "We love you so, so much, dragonfly." His voice was soft, much softer than it had been before, almost like all the frustration he must have been feeling had drained away in an instant. "We love you so much, and we never want to see you hurt like this. But you are, and instead of opening up, you're turning yourself off so you won't have to face something that's scaring you, like you always do. I know you hate being vulnerable, I know it scares you, but you need to let us in. We can't help you out if you won't explain what's going on."

Leo didn't know what to say. Rain was right, of course he was, but it didn't make anything less overwhelming. He didn't know how to keep himself from shutting down. He didn't know how to let his walls down and let people in. He didn't know how to let others help him emotionally. His whole life he'd been strong, keeping everything to himself and pushing his emotions down, because he could handle it on his own, he really could. He'd never let anyone in, because he wasn't weak, he wouldn't allow himself to be. But how was he supposed to react when he was confronted like this, forced to face what he was trying so hard to repress?

Leo hated how Rain could clock him so easily. He hated that he was an open book, no matter how hard he tried not to be. Maybe he was weak. Surely someone who was strong wouldn't have been so easy to figure out, right?

Strong arms found their way around Leo's still exposed waist. Micah's chest pressed firmly up against Leo's back, warming him up as he struggled with his words and thoughts. "Take all the time you need," he murmured, kissing the back of Leo's head gently. "We're not going anywhere. We know this is difficult for you, so we'll wait as long as you need us to."

"...I..." Leo paused. What was he even supposed to say? How was he supposed to make them understand? "...I...I just get...really overwhelmed sometimes."

Leo chewed on his tongue, contemplating what else he was meant to say. Rain and Micah remained silent, although their eyes were trained intently on Leo, waiting patiently for him to continue (well, Leo couldn't actually see Micah's eyes, but he could feel them boring into the back of his skull, so he knew his other boyfriend was paying attention). "I don't...I don't handle overwhelming emotions very well. I never have. When I get really sad, or really angry, or really disappointed with myself, or just really upset overall, it feels like I'm about to burst with the pressure and clutter of everything I'm feeling all at once. I don't know how to make it all go away. I've tried other coping mechanisms, but they never work fast enough. Hurting seems to be the only way to regulate my emotions well enough to manage. I never really thought of it as that much of a big deal, to be honest. I mean yeah, it hurts, but it's not the worst thing in the world. Cuts heal, scars don't bother me, it just seemed like a decent solution to a problem I can't otherwise solve."

There was an uncomfortable silence for a while. Leo felt like he may have said something wrong, or not been clear enough with his words, but before he could backtrack, Micah piped up from behind him.

"So..." he started, drawing out the word in a contemplative manner. "You're using self-harm to punish yourself? You feel like you need to hurt whenever you're upset with yourself?"

"I mean, yes, but also no?" Leo responded, his words more unsure than he would have liked. "It's not always to punish myself, not necessarily. A lot of the time it is, I can't really pretend like it's not, but there are other times where I just...need a way to blow off steam over things that aren't related to me." He looked down at his chest, shame suddenly hitting him. Why did he have to be like this? Why was he unable to handle himself like a normal human? "I just never found a better way of coping with it all. This was better, simpler. An easy fix."

Rain looked like he was about to cry again. His bloodied arms came up to Leo's face (he hadn't noticed he had left blood on Rain's arms, he didn't mean to-), his hands tenderly placing themselves on either side of Leo's face. "Ok, that makes sense. I understand what you mean. I understand why you got addicted. But there's one thing I don't understand." Rain paused, looking down at Leo's chest briefly before looking back to meet Leo's gaze. "If it really wasn't that big of a deal, then why did you try so hard to hide it?"

Ooh. That one was tough. It brought up memories Leo would rather have forgotten. But he owed his boyfriends an explanation after all they'd witnessed, so he'd do his best to face Rain's question head on.

"I didn't want to disappoint you, or make you mad at me." He murmured, looking down at the floor. Micah's arms tightened around him protectively, but he carried on, not wanting anyone to interject. "One of my friends found out, and when they did, they weren't all that pleased with me. They got really mad, started yelling at me, it turned into this whole argument I don't really want to relive. The whole thing made me feel like I was a terrible person for coping the way I was, but despite that, it didn't make me want to stop. In fact, it made me want to hurt more. I was mad at myself, and mad at my friend for not understanding why I was doing what I was doing, and I was mad at everything that made me feel so awful all the time. I felt so alienated, so disgusting, like nobody in my life would understand me, or listen to me talk about my struggles. I thought everyone would react like my friend did, with anger. So, I hid it, and I made sure to do it better than before. That way, nobody would be mad at me for struggling, and I could keep coping in peace. It's so stupid, because I can't remember much about the argument itself, I can't remember a word that was said, but I still remember how it made me feel. I still remember how worthless the ordeal made me feel. I never wanted to feel like that again, so I didn't let anyone now, and I was never going to. Not until now..."

Tears were welling back up in Leo's eyes, and he tried to blink them away, desperate not to let himself cry again. He could get through all this, he didn't need to cry, he was better than that, stronger. He was already being too open, too vulnerable, speaking of things he had never talked about to anyone before. He didn't need to add crying on top of that. Why couldn't he be more like Micah, who almost never cried? Why couldn't he be that tough?

"Oh sweet boy," Micah spoke up, his mouth right up against Leo's ear. His fingers rubbed loving circles on Leo's stomach, soothing the skin that was actually intact. "We could never be mad at you over this. This isn't...This is something that you're struggling with, you don't deserve to feel even more alienated than you already feel. You didn't deserve what happened to you. You didn't deserve to be berated for succumbing to your mental health. You didn't deserve to feel alone, or discusting, or embarrassing. You are so, so loved, no matter how bad your mental health is, and we would never intentionally make you feel worse over something that's clearly been a battle for you." He stopped to kiss Leo's cheek, barely missing the part of Rain's hand still resting there, before pulling back. "We could never be mad at you, but we are concerned. I understand why you've turned to this as a coping mechanism, but we need to find you a better one. This is already a clear addiction, and it could get so much worse in the future. What if you end up hurting yourself to a lethal extent? What if you end up in the hospital? What if this becomes so debilitating that you have to do it more and more frequently, until it consumes your whole life? There's gotta be a better way to deal with all of this, there just has to be."

Leo sighed. "I know." And he did. He understood that his little problem could get out of control very easily, but it was hard to accept when nothing else seemed to work. What was he supposed to do when he got overwhelmed, if not hurt? He didn't think it was possible for him to get better, not when he was the way that he was. He'd accepted that he could never get better years ago, and he didn't see why that would change now, even with his boyfriends becoming aware. He was a lost cause, they just didn't know it yet.

"Then... I don't know, can you think of something, anything, that'll give you the same type of relief cutting does? Maybe drawing, or exercising, or doing that thing you do when you pace around your room for hours listening to music?" Rain asked, his voice slightly optimistic. Leo didn't have the heart to tell Rain that he wasn't capable of help. He wasn't capable of change. He was stuck the way he was, because he had never been able to get better, not even when he tried. He would never get better.

"I don't know." Leo whispered, and the tears were suddenly back. He was suddenly hit with the biggest wave of despair he had felt all night, the urge to hurt again swamping his brain until it was all he could think about. He wanted desperately to cut himself again, or to grind his palm into the pre-made cuts already littering his chest until they opened up again, but he knew his boyfriends would end up restraining him if he did, and the razor blade he had used was unobtainable, safely tucked away in Micah's pocket. He highly doubted Micah would let him grab it, and there was no way he could get it out without immediately being caught. With no way to comfort himself, Leo knew he wouldn't be able to keep himself from breaking down. It was too much, everything that was going on was too much. He could only shut himself down for so long, and it looked like his time was up. "I really don't know. I've tried some of that stuff, but it's never worked before. I'm sorry."

"Hey, it's ok! It's ok love, don't stress yourself, ok?" Micah tried to comfort Leo, his voice low and soothing, but it wasn't working very well. He must have noticed how Leo's hands were forming into claws, opening and closing with frantic movements, because he moved his hands down to grasp Leo's, holding them in one position. "We don't need to figure this out right now. This is a process, right?"

Leo nodded hesitantly, and Micah continued. "I think maybe we should go rest a little. This has been a lot for one night, hasn't it?"

Leo nodded again, this time more enthusiastically. He would gladly take any out he could to stop talking about this, it was extremely overwhelming, which was not helping Leo's case at this moment. Anything to hide from what was going on within himself, and around him. He needed a distraction at the very least, if not pain. He pressed himself closer to Micah's chest, shifting himself so he could curl up closer to Micah's chest.

Micah hugged Leo tightly to his torso, kissing his forehead lightly. "That's ok, I understand. This is obviously taking a toll on you. We can discuss this more tomorrow, for now, try to calm down a little. We don't need to stress. We'll figure this out. Everything will be ok, we'll help you as much as we can. You will be ok, I promise. We love you so much baby, never forget that."

Leo nodded for a third time, saying nothing. He saw Rain open up his mouth, clearly intending to argue, but his jaw shut when his eyes looked over Leo and met Micah's, clearly meeting a warning look. Leo didn't want his boyfriends to argue over this, over him, he was sure it was hard enough for them to even process what they had walked in on, but it wasn't up to him to decide what his boyfriends could and couldn't feel. They were scared and worried, and although they would probably end up expressing such emotions in different ways, it wouldn't change that they just wanted Leo to be happy and healthy.

He wasn't sure that was possible for him. How could he get better when he was...well, the way he was?

"...We should probably get these clothes back on you, huh?" Rain whispered, looking down at the pile of fabric Leo had left on the ground. Leo kept forgetting he was naked, but now that Rain had pointed it out, it was hard to ignore the biting cold that was creeping over Leo's skin, save for where Micah was pressed against him.

"Yeah, I guess." Leo moved to stand up, holding Micah's hand as he pushed his weakened body off the ground. He was still shaking, but he was able to grab his clothes just fine, pulling his shirt over his bandaged body while his boyfriends stood by, watching his every movement with cautious eyes. Leo finished with his shirt, grabbing at his boxers and pants and pulling them up before turning back to his boyfriends, who were still watching over him. "I'm good now."

"Alright." Micah said, smiling gently at Leo. "You and Rain head back to the bedroom. I'm gonna stay here for a minute and clean the floor up."

Oh yeah. There was some of Leo's blood on the floor. Not a lot, but it was still there. Leo felt a flash of guilt for getting some of his own blood on the floor of Natalia's bathroom, but he shook it away. Without saying a word, he turned towards the door and started for the bedroom, Rain right behind him. Rain's hand shot out, grabbing onto Leo's own with a tight, needy grip, holding him close by, despite how close they already were. Once they made it out to the hallway, Rain pressed himself close to Leo's side, seemingly soaking up every inch of physical touch he could.

They made it back to the bedroom, stumbling around furniture in the still-dark apartment until their feet hit the side of Leo's bed. Rain didn't break apart from Leo once, not even a second, still clinging on desperately to Leo's arm as he climbed into the middle portion of the bed. As soon as Leo had settled himself under the covers, Rain hopped in beside him, spooning the smaller man's back in the most protective, tight hug Leo had ever experienced from him, or at least, that he could remember. The bed still felt empty and cold without Micah's presence, but it was nice to at least have Rain with him, cuddling up to his back so securely like this.

Rain placed his head on top of Leo's, kissing his cheek softly. "I love you." He whispered into the dark, his voice uncharacteristically quiet, despite the fact that there was no one to disturb. "I love you, I love you, I love you. I'll love you forever, my little dragonfly. Please stay safe. Please come to us the next time you feel like...like hurting yourself. I don't want to lose you."

Leo's muscles relaxed in Rain's hold. He hated how badly this was affecting his boyfriends. He hated how fearful Rain sounded, how his voice trembled with every word he spoke. He hated how he could hear and feel the little plips of tears on his skin, despite Rain's efforts to sound strong. He wished he had remembered to lock the door. He wished he could take all the pain Rain and Micah were feeling at the discovery and transfer it to himself. If he could make them forget all that had happened, not just for his sake, but for theirs, he would do it in a heartbeat. "I love you to Raindrop. I'm not going anywhere, I promise. I'm here to stay, ok?"

He wouldn't promise to come to them when he wanted to hurt, nor would he promise to kick his habit. He couldn't. He was a lot of things, but he'd rather not be a liar. He wouldn't burden them with the responsibility of dealing with his issues, that wasn't their job or responsibility. They weren't therapists, it wasn't up to them to fix the unfixable. But...maybe he could pretend to get better, if only to ease their minds. That couldn't be too hard, could it?

"Ok." Rain murmured, giving Leo's cheek one last kiss before moving his head back to the pillow behind him. "You better keep that promise."

Leo said nothing, instead scooting closer to Rain's body behind him. The door adjacent to them creaked wider, Micah's towering form entering the room as he too made his way around the bed and into his designated spot in front of Leo. As soon as he had gotten comfortable, he wrapped his arms back around Leo, smushing himself impossibly close to Leo's body. It would have felt like a regular night, if it weren't for the noticeable desperation in Micah's actions.

"Goodnight my love." Micah murmured, his voice low and soothing. "We'll be here when you wake up. I've got you. I'll keep you safe, I promise. I love you more than words can possibly express."

"I love you too. Leo echoed, moving his head forward enough to kiss Micah's neck. He wrapped his own arms around Micah, hugging his boyfriend closer to himself. "Thank you, for everything. I'm sorry."

"No need to apologize baby." Micah nuzzled his face into the crook of Leo's neck, kissing his jaw tenderly. "I'd do it again in a heartbeat. I want to talk more about all this later, but for now, get some rest. It'll do no good to have this conversation when you're so exhausted and upset."

"Ok." Leo closed his eyes. Behind him, Rain removed one hand from around Leo's stomach, grabbing his comfort blankets closer and putting them beside Leo's chest. Leo tucked his nose into them, thankful to have them nearby, and with that, he tried to let himself drift.

He faded surprisingly quickly. Maybe it was because he had already been tired, maybe it was because of all his heightened emotions draining him, or maybe it was just because it was so late at night, but no matter the reason, Leo's mind swiftly succumbed to the growing darkness numbing his body. Micah was right. He could think about this more tomorrow. He didn't need to think about it now, because he was safe. They weren't mad at him. He was fine, everything was fine, he was going to be ok.

And if he wasn't planning on quitting anytime soon? Well, nobody had to know about that. He could say all the things they wanted to hear, keeping them as blissfully unaware as ever after regaining their trust. They didn't know about the little box under his sink after all, so it's not like he was out of tools to use on himself. He would be fine, he just had to be extra cautious when coping in the future. They wouldn't find out again. He'd make sure of it.

Relapsing wasn't that big a deal to him. He was strong, he could handle it, and besides, isn't this what he deserved? He'd be fine. He had to be.

"I'm scared."

Rain's voice cut through the silence of Leo's dark room, spooking Micah into briefly tensing up. Leo was asleep between them, and Micah had honestly believed Rain was too. Guess he was wrong.

"Do you think he'll actually stop? Do you think he'll find a better coping mechanism? What if he gets really, really hurt one day? What if he dies? What if-"

Without disturbing their sleeping boyfriend, Micah took one hand off of Leo's slumbering form and placed it over Rain's shoulder. "He's gonna be ok. He's not gonna die, and he's not going to go to the hospital. We'll make sure he finds a better way of coping, I promise. We'll keep him safe. He just...needs a little support, yeah?"

"...Yeah, I guess. But... are you sure?"

Rain couldn't see Micah, but he nodded nonetheless. "I'm sure. We'll help him get better. He'll be ok. This is a very recoverable thing. It'll take some time, sure, but he'll learn to recover. It'll be ok, I promise."

"...Ok. I believe you." A pause. "I love you."

"I love you too, angel. Try to sleep well, ok?"

"Ok. You too."

Rain settled, and Micah breathed out a small sigh of relief, too quiet for anyone else to hear. If he was being truly, genuinely honest with himself, he wasn't sure his answers were actually true. It's not like the possibilities Rain had brought up hadn't crossed his mind at all, but he had tried to shake them off, determined to believe that Leo would get better. He had to get better. Anything else wasn't a possibility.

But fuck, if it hadn't shattered Micah's heart to find Leo like that, curled up in Rain's lap with blood dripping down his torso, the crimson liquid leaking from self-inflicted wounds. And hearing Leo speak of himself like a criminal, like he needed to be punished for his wrongdoings? Well, that had crushed the shattered pieces of Micah's heart into powder, until he thought he might keel over and die from the pain. He had never once considered that Leo could possibly be doing this to himself, he saw no signs, but there must have been something, right? Something he had missed, something he had overlooked, something that had ignored? How could he have possibly not known at least a little bit that this was going on?

Thirteen years old. Leo had been doing this to himself since he was thirteen years old. That was long before the three of them had started dating, long before he and Rain had even met Leo, and somehow, somehow despite how long it had been, how scarred Leo must have become, they never picked up on it.

Leo had been destroyed. He had shut down. He had forced himself to stop feeling. He was not ok, but he didn't seem too upset with how he was doing, even going so far as to insinuate that he would be fine, that none of this was a big deal. That he would be ok to continue on like this. So could Micah really, truly be sure of Leo's safety at this moment?

No, no he couldn't. Not even a little bit. He couldn't say with one hundred percent certainty that Leo would stop, that he wouldn't hide his pain as long as he could, that he wouldn't end up severely injured, or even dead. So no, Micah couldn't tell for sure what would happen with their boyfriend, the love of their lives, their soulmate in every possible way.

But that's not what Rain needed to hear. He didn't need to know of Micah's doubts, not when he had so many of his own. Leo was all Rain had in terms of family, except for Micah of course, so to lose him would mean losing half his heart. It would kill him to lose Leo, it would kill him to even think about losing Leo. Micah couldn't do that to him.

So he hid his thoughts, put on a brave face, and continued on. Rain would never know how Micah's hands trembled as they patched Leo's injuries up, or how they had nearly dropped the razor blade several times when going to retrieve it. Rain would never know how he had cried when they left the bathroom, cleaning up the blood on the floor using the river he had created with his tears. Rain would never know of how Micah had washed his face desperately, unable to wipe the tear steaks and redness from his face, no matter how hard he scrubbed. And most importantly, Rain would never know how he had entered the bedroom and almost turned back around, the sight of Leo laying so still nearly causing him to hyperventilate with panic.

No, Rain didn't need to know about any of that. Neither did Leo. Micah could handle the burden on his own. He could survive. He knew he could, because despite his fears, he would make sure Leo came out of this ok. He would be there as much as he could, and he would give all he had to make Leo better, all he had and then some. Leo getting worse was not a possibility. Micah couldn't let it be.

So he stayed awake, and he watched. He watched Leo's slow, deep breaths, his body twitching with life every so often. He watched as Rain fell deeper and deeper into slumber, his own fears forgotten temporarily as he drifted into dreamland. He watched over his hurt, grieving boyfriends, each one injured in their own ways, slept peacefully, their worries slipping from their shoulders until the moment they woke once again.

He watched, refusing to rest. What else could he do? He wouldn't let his boyfriends, the loves of his lives, the planets his life revolved around, suffer so terribly. He had to keep them together. He had to heal their wounds, to fix them up until they were the best versions of themselves they could possibly be. Who was he, if not the one who kept them safe?

He watched, and he kept guard, waiting for morning to come. Everything would be sorted out then. Everything would be ok then. But for now, he would watch.

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